#they’re like Oh Fuck Who Have These Cultists Brought In

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

DPxDC Prompt

Thinking back on it, Danny probably should have been more wary of being given the title ‘Ender Of Timelines’.

[justporo]

Could I request no. 44 (Public Kisses) please?

Maybe the kisser proving the kissee that they don’t care who’s watching and that they’re proud to be with them

(with either Astarion being worried about Tav being seen with ‘an undead’ or Durge worrying about Star being seen with a Bhaalspawn).

Thank you!

Last one for the kiss prompts - allow me to take the "not caring who watches" a bit further even. I fully didn't intend this to become this long (like always...) but here we are... Oh, and then I edited it and it became even longer. Enjoy Tav making clear they belong to Astarion and vice versa!

Pairing: Astarion/GN!Tav (You) | Wordcount: 2,2k | Warnings: light mention of violence / Act 2 spoilers

MASTERLIST | AO3

Affirmations

Everyone was staring - all the time.

It wasn't enough already that, entering Moonrise Towers again, meant venturing deep into the lion's den. But to add to this you couldn't even go unnoticed.

Of course not, you were a True Soul! In touch with the Absolute itself! Destined for great things! So there wasn't a single moment without a pair of eyes upon you. And you hated it - deeply.

Quite frankly, it seemed like the primary requisite to becoming a cultist of the Absolute was being way too fucking nosey. But you had to be honest with yourself you were at least partly to blame with the scene you had caused with this godsdamned drow yesterday.

Just thinking about her made your blood boil again. Just the way she had looked at you, but most of all Astarion. The arrogance, the unquestioned privilege - it immediately conjured another wave of bile rising up within you.

If not for the sake of the greater mission you would have very much liked shredding her to pieces so she would have never been able to even look at Astarion again. You would have done it with a pleasant smile on your face. But alas, it would have only complicated matters even further

Your visceral reaction had been surprising even to you. Normally you weren’t one for excessive blood shed. Actually you much more liked solving things without weapons: talking your way out of situations, tricking others. That was much more your style. But your bloodlust, brought on by a powerful urge to protect Astarion, had almost taken the better of you yesterday.

It had shaken you; not least  your companions as well - and most of all Astarion.

All the way back to camp the vampire had been barely able to hide his wild mix of feelings - shock, admiration, insecurity. You had felt his wide red eyes on you the whole time and had known that something was about to happen. A tipping point had been reached.

But you hadn't even remotely been prepared for what had followed when Astarion had approached you when everyone else had already retired to their tents for the evening.

On the other end of the night the two of you had come out with a new layer added to your bond: fresh still, barely fully formed - but fueled by both of your deep desires to hold onto the other and not let go.

Immediately, it had been weird for the two of you after. The next morning you had barely been able to look at each other. Simply because this was daunting for either of you. Hells, not even the two of you knew how to go on from this but you were determined to make it work. And unsteadiness had quickly turned to small glances, short touches in passing as you all got ready for a new day ahead, affirming smiles - and some suspicion from your fellow companions.

When you had made your way back to the godsdamned towers you had felt uneasiness rise up again, tendrils of negative feelings forming a tight knot in your chest.

And in an overly brave moment you had grabbed for Astarion's hand when you had been about to enter the towers again - repeating a gesture from last night. Wishing to feel same kind of warmth and steadiness again and also relaying the same sentiment to the vampire you saw slightly nervously move his head to loosen the tension in his neck.

It had made the vampire almost recoil as he looked at you with shocked wide eyes and you were sure you had heard a surprised gasp from your other companions behind you. But when you had tried to let go again, immediately regretting your short-circuit action, you found that Astarion had been lightly holding on to your hand and had thrown you a small smile. You would have called it coy with anyone else but him.

The gesture hadn’t gone unnoticed by Lae’zel whose eyes had been steadily narrowed at the both of you from there on out.

Only when you had come across the first guards had Astarion let go, but not without squeezing your hand in his a last time. 

You had stayed close to each other walking through the headquarters of the Absolute, trying to investigate this damned place further. An unsettling feeling was filling all of you but the only thing you could do was trying to pull through.

In the main hall - Ketheric's throne thankfully empty - most of the cultists had gathered for some strategy discussion. So, an excellent opportunity to listen in on them and maybe find someone to squeeze for some more information.

Thankfully, Gale and Shadowheart had somewhat taken the lead today giving you and Astarion some time to recover from everything that had happened. You were standing next to the vampire - your partner now, you reminded yourself - stealing glances up at him from time to time. He usually caught you while he stood there, arms crossed over his chest, throwing you a small smile in response that always made you turn away again, slightly blushing. But then you also noticed him peering at you out of the corner of his eyes. And despite your dire situation as a whole you couldn’t help but feel a little giddiness inside of you - maybe all wasn’t lost after all.

At the moment, Gale was talking to another higher-up drow, trying to convince her to give up some more details about Ketheric Thorm. She very much was having none of it, but the wizard kept deliberately trying. Shadowheart, meanwhile, did next to nothing to keep him from verbally digging his own grave.

It was then that you felt the hairs of your neck stand up and felt someone staring at you. With a sinister suspicion, you turned to look over your shoulder to find: Araj Oblodra looking at you angrily. The drow from the day before was openly staring at the two of you, after having just entered the hall, wearing a massive displeased snarl on her face.

You immediately felt your own face sour, a deep fold forming between your furrowed brows. At your negative reaction Astarion’s brows drew together quizzically and he looked over his shoulder as well. When he found what you were looking at his nose scrunched up in distaste, mirroring you closely. You even heard a low growl rumble in his chest. Had he been unsure yesterday how to react you had worked wonders to help him draw a line. Astarion’s repulsion was radiating off him, almost physical.

The drow kept staring. And so did you - not willing to give her the impression that her presence was bothering you.

Moments became minutes while Gale kept rambling with some half-hearted support from Shadowheart (the rest of the group staying painfully silent). Meanwhile, others noticed the silent staring contest across the room. Even more pairs of eyes were observing you now. Probably everyone here knew to the tiniest detail what had gone down yesterday. And the longer this moment was drawn out, the more you felt your grip on your emotions slip. One of your hands had formed into a fist at your side - nails biting into the flesh of your palm and leaving crescent moon indents behind.

Then an idea, or just an impulse really, sprung to your mind. Your eyes jumped to Astarion who was still staring down Araj through his brows, crimson eyes sparkling dangerously. One of his hands had casually wandered to the dagger at his side, wrist languidly resting on its hilt. A leisure threat, but an open one.

“Astarion,” you whispered silently to him, “you trust me, yes?”

The vampire’s brows furrowed a bit more, gaze flitting to you, then back to the drow still glaring at you.

“Of course, my love. Why-,” he began and quickly looked at you again. Then he interrupted himself. He must’ve seen your intention on your face and now he turned his head to fully look at you. His fingers unconsciously clenched around the pommel of his dagger now, focused on something entirely else than making barely hidden threats.

You threw him a questioning glance as you took a deep breath. He lightly nodded, a soft smile curling up one side of his mouth while he turned to you.

And then, before you would get too scared, you moved to grab Astarion’s face with both hands, stepped even closer to him and stood on your tiptoes to reach for his lips with your own.

There was another short moment before your mouths met in the kiss: his full lips slightly parting, his eyes open almost vulnerable, glinting with something much different from the anger before, if not less passionate.

A shaky breath left you as you stared up at him. You knew you must be pretty much mirroring his expression at this moment.

And you were sure that this, all of this, had been the right decision.

Then your lips met. A sigh immediately wandered from your mouth to his as Astarion kissed you open-mouthed, softly opening up yours. Then his tongue shortly ran over your lips, then entered your mouth, taking up yours in a dance you were already familiar with.

Astarion’s arms moved around you. He placed his hands on your hips but immediately let them wander to your behind to pull you closer to him, making you almost slam into his body. You felt him grinning as he did that. A yelp left your mouth, pleasantly surprised by his initiative, but didn’t break the kiss for a single moment.

You had done this dozens over dozens of times, almost the exact same motions. It had been enticing and electrifying each time, enjoying each time it had happened.

But this was different. Everyone’s eyes were on you. You were making it very official what you were to each other. Not only to your friends but for the whole world to see. And in that sense it felt very much like a first kiss altogether.

The passion was there, as Astarion kept deepening the kiss, turning his head, looking at you intensely as you batted your eyes open for a short moment. His hands were stroking up and down your back while yours had entered his hair, tugging on some curls, pulling his head closer.

Somewhere in the middle you had almost forgotten that you weren’t alone. You felt him smile as you desperately wanted to keep going. Gods, you never wanted to let go again.

But Astarion slightly withdrew, his lips hovering slightly over yours, looking at you through his lashes. His voice was sinful. “Think we’ve given them enough of a show, darling?”

You frowned, shook your head. And without another word you pulled him in again as you heard a low laughter from him vibrate through his chest and by proxy through your body as well. He was intoxicating and he knew it. You’d given him the room to start feeling good about it. And you were merely getting started.

The kiss went on for another few moments although becoming softer now, slower. Less a show than a treat for the two of you. Then you softly lifted your mouth from his and looked up at him: breathless and a little shaky now, but a wicked smile already forming on your lips from the passionate kiss as you were still on your tiptoes.

Astarion mirrored your smirk before he pressed a quick peck to the tip of your nose - in just a whim of the moment. His arms were still firmly around you, holding you close to him. You kept smiling at him.

And then your smile grew icy and vicious as you turned to Araj who was looking at you in shock now. You let your tongue run over your bared teeth as you kept up the eye contact, daring her. And eventually the drow turned away, unsettled while your grin grew even broader.

You noticed that almost everyone else around you had also turned away from the public show of passionate affection. Only some still dared to look at you out of the corner of their eyes.

A victorious smile crept onto your face as you looked at Astarion again who looked at you with his signature smirk and a keen sense of pride he didn’t even try to hide.

Then, after a while, you turned to the other side.

And were faced with your friends staring at you in disbelief, just blinking at the two of you. Even the unshakable Lae’zel looked slightly irritated, not being able to hold your gaze for long

“Hot!” Karlach exclaimed, her expression of shock quickly turning to a smug, broad grin. And in true Karlach fashion she gave you a thumbs-up and a wink - causing you to blush and bite your lip. “Get a tent, am I right?”

You must have gone a little overboard with your public display of your newly formed bond. Your heart dropped a little. But Astarion only softly laughed at that and affectionately bit into the tip of your pointy ear. Seemingly the ice for public displays of affection had been broken for him - with a cannonball.

“So, you guys are official now?”, Wyll asked while cocking his head, looking kind of sceptical. Shadowheart just rolled her eyes, while Gale seemed stuck in a state of being too flustered to react.

“I guess you could say that, little lord”, Astarion answered, grinning smugly, one eyebrow twitching and pulled you to his chest again with one arm casually around your waist. He couldn’t keep a proud tone out of his voice as he looked down at you again.

Taglist: @spacebarbarianweird @sunfire-ancunin @tragedybunny @dependsonthedream @tallymonster @magazzne @micropoe10 @aoirohi @my-bunny-prince @lumienyx @fayeriess @darlingxdragon @hereliesblackdragon @ayselluna @ajokeformur-ray @i-cant-get-into-my-other-account @rikuyrk06

[beevean]

You won’t miss anything by not watching the series, it’s absolutely dull. The monster designs are boring (this is the most grievous offense to me, they’re all human-looking but with added body parts, shells/armor, wings etc), the most frequent action our protagonists do is running away, the characters share no similarity to their game counterparts (big oof with Juste), the main boss is especially lackluster compared to Dracula (even Netflix Dracula), the music is lacking and unimaginative, the voice acting combined with the animation/design is awkward, the aristocratic enemies are non-entities (they’re just npc vampires in powdered wigs, heck the Headhunter has more personality and they only have attack voicelines), the plot is Richter, Maria, Annette, and Tera have to defeat the vampire Messiah and their underlings along with a subplot about saving a friend (how is it different and better than the games which “have no story”), their modus operandi for giving the protagonist characters a backstory is to have their loved ones killed (heck even Olrox’s past lover was killed), and France was underutilized.

I noticed in the first three episodes how the series has regressed to NFCV S1 tier of generic monsters, when the rest of the og show actually tried to bring back iconic enemies - I remember smiling when I saw Karasuman! Hell, Abel stole the show in S4E6! What happened here?

no really. what happened here.

I'm already seeing takes that always bringing Dracula back is boring and we need variety (which is the literal same argument moved against Eggman. I hate it here). And look, not only Castlevania, original name "Dracula's Demon Castle" is all about Dracula and his castle... but are the replacements worth it? The games gave us the likes of a corrupted Richter lamenting the fate of his clan, Walter the entertainingly sadistic lord serving all sorts of cunt, Isaac the cruel, insane, cunning yet tragic and loyal servant, Brauner who stole two girls and turned them into vampires out of grief, Barlowe the eerily realistic abusive cultist... only the Sorrow games are lacking in this department IMO. What did the show replace Dracula with, after swearing up and down that he's nothing but a dysfunctional dumbass? A girlboss? A cute rapist? An edgy redditor? Now a thundercat with her BDSM simp that wants to be Isaac so badly but doesn't have what made him charming? Wow, it was worth shitting on Dracula for three seasons straight and then basically saying "yeah he's not evil anymore" :V

I also noticed how both animation and voice acting took a nosedive. The fight betwen Richter and BDSM mommy is 10 fps, and Sun Thundercat sounds like she recorded herself on a shitty flip phone. c'mon bruh those were like, the two things I could easily praise about the og show. what are you doing.

I also also noticed how everyone has a dead mom, or alternatively a dead sister, and now we have a dead lover because Olrox has to be a poor little meow meow too on top of the tiddies. Oh, but the Games Are Stupid because they keep fridging wives, right? We Are So Much Better Than The Stupid Games :) fuck you.

Yeah I am so uninterested. I don't even want to hatewatch this. I don't care. It's just a shitty French Revolution story told from an American perspective, plus the most condescending of crumbs for the game fans. No, I don't care that you brought Juste back and you gave him afterimages, if you then say that Maxim died like a dumbass and that turned Juste into yet another cynical old man. Bleh.

[seeminglyseph]

My cousin’s family has. Uh. “Church is recited in Latin” values and his wife took horse dewormer instead of vaccines. And I feel. Very overwhelmed that they’re visiting but like. They arrived like. Very abruptly. And I feel like. Maybe I can just stay in my room all day?

They were supposed to get here later and I was planning on taking a shower but suddenly they got here like an hour early at least and like I genuinely don’t want to be seen unshowered or smelly and like.

I don’t have it in me to deal with the potentially infectious cultists. I just. Aaaaa. I’m feeling so paranoid and anxious. Like how do I detox the house when they leave? I’m feeling crazy and everyone’s gonna think I’m an asshole. No one’s gonna be like “oh we brought the antivaxers into the autoimmune house” unless I fucking die.

Also there are 3 children in the house. Right now, and I just feel like… yes I have felt extremely isolated and in need of contact and comfort and affection, however. That has not meant I have needed the forced contact with people I don’t know or feel comfortable around who trigger me and make me feel worse?

I also like to feel good and happy and comfortable. I want to have control of my surroundings to some degree and I don’t like how dramatically out of control everything has felt for like the past month? It’s been extremely detrimental to my ability to feel okay and in control and not insane.

[codenamesazanka]

I feel like I can’t stress enough how important Spinner is to the ‘My Villain Academia’ arc, and how badly I need BONES to give him the attention and care in portraying him that he deserves. BONES have been pretty faithful to the manga, they’ve followed the story and brought each scene on the page to the screen... Except for some reason not when it comes to the Villains. Maybe it’s because arguably the Villains wasn’t the focal point of the show and they weren’t what most viewers watched the show to see; fine, but that was the case in the beginning and no longer.

Shigaraki Tomura, his exploits, his character, his story *is* the manga: the Heroes and protag react mainly to him and his actions, his past and motivations is one of the main factors that caused the current central conflict, and resolving his character arc is what will probably bring the whole series - to its end or near end. Yeah, imo I argue that everything about him moves the plot along.

Unfortunately(?), I think Horikoshi-sensei realized/decided/planned this a bit too late in his pacing. He said himself during the Stain arc or so that at first, he wasn’t planning on doing villain profiles - he wanted the villains to be scary.

But for the time being, I have no intention of writing about [the villains]. I do the introductions because l personally like those sorts of behind-the-scenes things, and also because I want my readers to feel a connection to the characters. But with villains, I decided I can't have them too likable. They're supposed to be terrifying.

Often it’s what we don’t know/understand/predict/expect (and therefore can’t get a grasp on) that makes things scary/uncomfortable/dislikable. The Villains were strange, seemingly erratic and incomprehensible in their behavior and motivations, malicious without rhyme or reason. Even now, I think a lot of people still think they’re just ‘completely evil crazy psychopaths’.

Anyways, the quote from him is from Volume 7. A whole bunch of volumes later in Vol. 23, he decided nvm: “The story has evolved beyond that point, so I'm ready to start doing villain profiles.” As he said himself, the profiles are to help the readers connect with the characters, make them relatable and likable. That’s what My Villain Academia is all about in the meta sense - to demystify Shigaraki Tomura and his ragtag chaos friends, to give them depth, and to induce interest in their stories, if not sympathy. Hype them up for the rather major roles they play in this ‘final arc’ of the series.

Enter Spinner, the lizard ninja guy.

Besides his unusual looks, Spinner is really, truly nothing special. He’s got a weak quirk, he holds no title of being the strongest or smartest or whatever member of the League, he’s not related by blood or thematically to any major players in the main conflicts, and his ‘tragic’ backstory is completely mundane compared to his allies - he was bullied as a child, and so is fueled by resentment. In the events leading up to the start of the arc, Spinner is the most moral and understandable of the Villains - has a ‘good’ reason for his crimes (eradicate corrupted Heroes), has standards on who he’s willing to fight (questions attacking the police and anyone with a ‘true heroic spirit’), and wants a concrete game plan instead of aimless discord the rest of the League seems alright with.

Once the arc starts, we immediately learn the basics of his character - he’s got a heteromorph quirk that makes his appearance a humanoid gecko and it’s something he was born with that he can’t control, and yet he faces discrimination from literal KKK-type cultists who refuse to see him as human. This was more or less his life in his small, rural hometown, harsh enough that his heart had become ‘completely empty’. It’s simple, it’s relatable and an realistic analogy anyone who has faced prejudice and harassment and been hurt by it can understand.

All this is so Spinner ends up being the most normal and typical sympathetic of the League of Villains, which sets him up to be a sort of ‘gateway Villain’. It’s why he’s narrator. He doesn’t understand at all the crazy All For One shenanigans, he’s thinks Shigaraki is an incompetent weirdo, and he asks what we were all thinking: “Shigaraki Tomura, what the fuck are you doing.” Quite obviously, Spinner’s meant the audience surrogate and so he is. That being a core of the way the story of My Villain Academia is told means it needs be followed by the anime adaption.

This core sets up the rest of the arc - sets up how we will come to view Shigaraki Tomura and his backstory, alongside the rest of the League Villains, their relationships and dynamics with each other, and who they are at heart. Shigaraki’s telling of his distorted origins in Chapter 222 is horrifying as it is already; but it’s Spinner’s worried-facial-expressions reactions littered throughout the chapter that adds to it by telling us one major thing: Spinner’s an empathetic guy, because he immediately feels a kindred spirit with Shigaraki when the latter talks about the hollowness he feels. So begins the audience surrogate’s change of opinion and us readers going along with it, and also: that Shigaraki Tomura now has Spinner’s concern and attention - and is deserving of it.

Pardon the sudden heavily edited quote, but CS Lewis says,

Friendship arises...when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common...which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique [burden]. The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, "What? You too? I thought I was the only one." ...And instantly they stand together in an immense solitude.

That’s almost word for word Spinner in that moment, suddenly realizing he’s no longer as alone as he thought. He’s no longer as alone, and this means perhaps neither should Shigaraki. Because established in that very chapter, too, is the hate in Shigaraki’s heart fueled by his grief and despair, the loss of his family, past, and faith in others, his misery of thinking he’ll never feel good again. Yet - there’s Spinner, willing to extend some empathy and care, the very antidote to all that Shigaraki had revealed. Because the desire for companionship (or at least the lessening of the pain of loneliness) is universal, even among villains - maybe especially among these villains - we probably love to see it. Want to see it.

On that basis - friendship borne out of empathy - Spinner puts his faith his leader, puts his trust and support, and the rest of the arc is us following the tension of whether he was right to do so. Whether Shigaraki would live up to what Spinner expects of him, whether Spinner will side with Shigaraki despite their earlier conflict. Whether they could become friends, or something like that. And once they do, the consequences of this as things spiral more and more out of control, beyond this arc - that Spinner would know Shigaraki well enough to do something crucial at the turn of a battle later, that Spinner would stick by Shigaraki’s side when he’s in danger, that Spinner is loyal enough to Shigaraki to help him as a friend should.

Through Spinner, we come to see Shigaraki, originally incomprehensible and terrifying, as someone beyond a Villain or a leader, but rather someone valued as a person, a friend, a fellow silly gamer nerd. He’s still scary, of course - just less so, with a seed of doubt of his doom that Spinner - and only Spinner, by virtue of his specific narrative and emotional role in this arc - planted in their characters and the story.

It’s because of Spinner that MVA works, by itself, and as a stepping stone towards the rest of the series. So he really needs to be everything he is, was, and more in the anime adaption please BONES oh my god please

[fickleminder]

the years start coming and they don’t stop coming

In which Lilith’s return distorts her brothers’ perception of time.

Part 2 here

You’ve never seen the demon prince look so embarrassed.

“I can call for —”

“No, it’s okay. They deserve this.”

But you don’t, goes unspoken. You can see the pity in his eyes, feel the palpable disappointment in the air. Even Simeon and Luke make sure to hug you extra tight before stepping through the portal to the Celestial Realm, and Solomon promises to check up on you after you’ve returned home.

Thanking Lord Diavolo and Barbatos for their hospitality, you turn towards the final demon in the council room and put on the biggest grin your breaking heart can muster. “Hey, c’mere.”

Satan doesn’t hesitate to throw his arms around you. It’s almost like he’s trying to make up for his brothers’ absence, the way he crushes you to his chest and cradles the back of your head.

You can’t find it in yourself to blame them. As far as miracles go, this is a pretty big one. Lilith coming back to life is an unprecedented event, one not even Barbatos had seen coming. Nobody has any answers either. She’s definitely not a demon, not an angel, not human; just an immortal who knocked on the front door of the House of Lamentation three days ago.

Her brothers haven’t left her alone since. You’re happy for them, you really are, but a bitter part of you can’t help but wish her return had waited until after the exchange program ended. At least Lucifer had the courtesy to pull you aside and thank you on his family’s behalf (though you’re quite certain you had nothing to do with your ancestor’s sudden revival), in addition to making a pact with you as a token of his gratitude.

With that, you could have summoned all of them to send you off just as effectively as Lord Diavolo giving the order, but it won’t be the same and you know it. Your only saving grace is Satan, the one brother who’d kept his head and anchored you in the sea of loneliness you’d been set adrift in over the last few days.

“I’m gonna miss you, cat boy.”

“I miss you already,” Satan laughs softly, pulling back with a warm smile. “I’ll stay in touch, I promise.”

You squeeze his arms affectionately and glance past his shoulders at the closed doors. There’s the smallest shred of hope in you that thinks the others will come bursting through any moment now, scrambling for one final chance to see you. You give yourself five seconds, silently counting down to a pipe dream, before pressing a kiss to Satan’s cheek and releasing him.

“It might not seem like it now, but the Devildom will always be here for you,” Lord Diavolo says as the world around you fades to white. “Farewell.”

.

.

.

“Did you lose track of time at the library again? You missed dinner last night LOL.”

“Levi, be nice!”

Satan only hums quietly in response. He can’t be bothered to correct the assumption; it’s a convenient excuse for when his brothers actually notice he’s missing anyway.

The irony of Levi calling him out isn’t lost on him. While the otaku is still obsessed with his games and shows, he’s no longer as shut-in as he used to be, venturing outside the comforts of his sanctuary more often. Satan has passed by the common room on many occasions to find him and Lilith gaming or binging anime together, and the content expression on Levi’s face proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that the void from his Henry’s departure has long been filled.

“Oh, but speaking of,” Lilith sets her cutlery down and smiles shyly at the fourth-born, “I haven’t had the chance to explore the libraries here yet. If it’s not too much trouble, can you show me around and recommend a few books?”

Shrugging non-committedly, Satan continues with his meal, not once looking her in the eye.

.

.

.

You’ve always wondered how someone with the Avatar of Lust for a brother can have such terrible fashion sense. It should be impossible to go wrong with dressing for a funeral, but you guess life (along with a certain eyesore of a tie) just loves to disappoint you. Still, you’re too glad to have Satan with you right now to care.

“Thanks for coming.”

“Anytime.”

You lean into the demon���s side as he holds an umbrella over both of you. Your eyes are drawn to the flowers he’d placed on your mother’s grave, the only splash of color against the dull tombstone. For the longest time, all you can process is the pitter-patter of the afternoon rain on the plastic wrap of the bouquet, and the comforting weight of Satan’s arm across your shoulders.

“She was in a lot of pain,” you admit after a while, your voice slightly hoarse. “The doctors had to sedate her. She went in her sleep.”

“I’m sorry.” Satan fidgets awkwardly, not quite sure what to say. He’s no stranger to death, but the loss of someone dear is unfamiliar to him. “Perhaps Simeon can find out if —”

“No, no it’s fine. I just — I need to —”

The umbrella is forgotten as Satan catches you, lowering you gently to the ground when your knees give way. You cling to him desperately, and it’s all he can do to draw you close as you start to wail.

.

.

.

Satan barely makes it three steps into the house before getting pounced on.

“How was it? Where did you go? Ooh you lucky demon, I want to hear all the details!”

“Oi, oi! What are you babbling on about?”

“Don’t act coy with me! Lilith saw you at the florist’s yesterday with the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers!”

“Yesterday? But —”

“How come you never told me someone caught your eye? I would have dolled you up, lent you some of my clothes —” Asmo gasps dramatically. “You didn’t wear that horrid jacket to your date, did you?”

Wrestling a hand free, Satan musses his younger brother’s hair. “None of your business,” he growls, walking away with a smirk when Asmo immediately releases him to fix his appearance. “Who do you take me for, anyway?”

“Aww come on, just give me a hint! Do I know them? Is it someone from RAD? Ooh, did you meet them at the library or —”

Ducking into the safety of his room, Satan shuts the door in Asmo’s face.

.

.

.

“Thank fuck. Who picked your outfit this time?”

“Barbatos. And shut up.”

You grab Satan’s arm with a laugh and lead him towards your table, politely introducing him as ‘Stan from work’ to any relatives who ask about the handsome young man accompanying you. Satan’s usual mask is in place, but there’s no mistaking the gleam of wonder in his eyes as he takes in his surroundings.

“Finally,” you sigh, sinking into your seat and grinning sheepishly at the blond. “Sorry about them. It’s just that they’ve never seen me with anyone, so they’re really curious about you.”

“Well, I’m glad you invited me along. I’ve never been to a wedding before.” The romantic in Satan is openly basking in the ambience of the reception. “You mentioned that your niece had gotten married?”

“Technically my first cousin once removed, but yeah.”

“And you’ve not been seeing anyone?”

“You would have been the first to know if I have,” you tease, nudging him playfully. “Apparently a lot of people are put off by the way I dress. Too modest, they say.”

But not without good reason. The pact marks on your body may be slightly faded from disuse, but they’re still discernable if stared at hard enough: Lucifer’s at the back of your neck; Mammon’s over your heart; Levi’s curled around your right calf; Satan’s circling your left arm; Asmo’s dangerously close to tramp stamp territory; Beel’s just under your navel; and Belphie’s on your ribs at the side you like to sleep on.

Passing them off as tattoos without attracting the wrong kind of attention is a little tricky, so you’d rather take a page from Solomon’s book and cover them up. Being called a prude is easier than dealing with cultists.

(It also helps you to keep your mind off of them, because some wounds continue to hurt even after they heal, so there’s that.)

Sensing the drop in your mood, Satan clears his throat to get your attention. It’s only then that you realize there’s music playing in the background, and couples moving from their tables to the floor.

Your companion stands up and offers you his hand, this time with a genuine smile on his face. “May I have this dance?”

.

.

.

Lucifer’s tone books no room for argument. “This will be a family event, so I expect your attendance. Don’t think I haven’t noticed your little escapades over the past few months.”

“Tch.”

“Do I make myself clear?”

“Whatever. I’ll be there.”

Satan has to resist the urge to hurl his hardcover at the back of Lucifer’s head when he takes his leave. That’s no way to treat a book, after all.

Beel’s Fangol team has an upcoming match and it’ll be Lilith’s first time watching him play. She’s been hyped up for weeks, so it comes as no surprise that Lucifer would use the opportunity to turn it into a family outing. He’s been doing that a lot lately.

Gone is the stuffy first-born who can spend days in his office if left unchecked. Lucifer is still as strict as ever, still fulfills his duties to Lord Diavolo diligently, but it’s like he’s managed to master balancing work and play overnight. He makes more time for his siblings now, even if it’s to dole out punishments for their endless shenanigans, punishments that vary in severity depending on how cutely Lilith pleads on their behalf.

Lucifer has always doted on her, and she has him wrapped around her little finger. Belphie has even gone as far as corrupting her into pranking him, and she need only bat her eyelashes to get off scot-free.

Lilith was the catalyst for the Fall, her descendent the glue that brought her siblings back together, and her return the final piece in making their family whole again.

But you were family too, Satan thinks sourly, pulling out his D.D.D. to mark the date in his calendar.

.

.

.

When you invite Satan over to your apartment for tea, he never expected to be introduced to your new housemate: a handsome fellow with chestnut brown hair, sharp jade eyes, a runner’s body, and the softest-looking toe beans he has ever seen in his immortal life.

“Satan, meet Satan!” You hold out the tabby towards him with a shit-eating grin.

Both demon and cat blink owlishly at each other. The blond doesn’t know whether to feel endeared by the feline sharing his name or insulted that you would replace him so easily, but all it takes is a single bop on the nose with a curious paw for him to melt.

Satan the tabby, who normally prefers to scale your shelves and nap between your books, spends the entire day a purring puddle in Satan the demon’s arms, shamelessly relishing in pets and massages to the extent that at some point, you have a very real fear they might just end up absconding back to the Devildom together. Thankfully, some kibble and freshly baked treats help you separate the two for a while, at least long enough for you to get some decent conversation in.

You brew a pot of Earl Grey with the beautifully crafted tea set Barbatos gifted you when you had first moved in, and serve the scones you made earlier in the morning using the baking tools blessed by Luke during your housewarming. You don’t know if the little angel had actually imbued them with Celestial magic, but everything you cook somehow always lifts your spirits when consumed.

Satan has to catch himself in the middle of regaling you with Mammon’s latest half-baked scheme. The wistful look on your face is new; you’re usually eager to hear what his brothers have been up to, but something feels off today. He pours you more tea, slides another scone onto your plate, and waits.

“…Are they happy?” You ask after a while.

The demon knows better than to lie, even if it’s to spare you from the truth he suspects you’re already aware of. “Yes,” he admits grudgingly.

“I’m glad.”

Your smile doesn’t reach your eyes.

.

.

.

Lilith stands outside his room, holding a tray of tea and cakes.

“Hey, um, may I come in?” Her smile is both hopeful and uncertain. It’s a gamble, ambushing the fourth-born when he obviously has no interest in her. At best, he’ll make up an excuse to turn her away or just ignore her completely; at worst, well… she doesn’t really want to think about that. To her visible relief, he opens the door wider and steps aside.

Satan clears a space for her to set the tray down. There’s the briefest moment of hesitation before he drags your favorite armchair over and offers her a seat as well. He looks guarded but not openly hostile, a promising sign so far.

“You’ve been in and out of the house lately, so I haven’t had the chance to catch you. I thought we might sit down and talk,” Lilith says, pouring two cups of the hot beverage as she chooses her next words carefully. “The others told me about how you were born, but I understand that you are your own person. I’d like to get to know that person.”

A part of Satan is acutely aware of their one-sided relationship; he is familiar with her through Lucifer, but she has never met him. It makes sense for her to be curious about him, though Satan isn’t so sure he wants to return the favor. She reminds him too much of you in the way she prepares her tea, how she sits on your chair, her shy lopsided smile —

But she’s not you, and you’re not her, Satan has to remind himself lest he commits the same mistake his brothers nearly did after your lineage had been revealed. Now in a convoluted turn of events, it’s you who’s gone and Lilith here, and there’s no reason why he can’t give her a chance and treat her like the sister she could be to him.

It’s what you would have wanted.

Lilith tries not to let her shoulders slump too much when Satan quietly stands up and heads towards his door. She’s prepared to pack up and leave until she spots him grabbing several books from a nearby shelf.

“Have you ever read Mid-Fall Murders?” He asks, handing her a hardcover with a shy smile of his own.

.

.

.

“What’s it like?”

Satan’s grip on your hand tightens. “I don’t actually know,” he confesses, shuffling closer so that your shoulder and arm are pressed against his. It’s a strange sight, the two of you lying side by side on your bed, staring aimlessly at the ceiling.

“Will it hurt?”

“No.”

You’ve never heard a single word hold so much promise, but you have no reason to doubt the demon’s sincerity. Satan wouldn’t take pity on you just because you’re —

A light knock on the door, and in pokes Simeon’s head. “Ah, little lamb! I’m glad we made it in time.”

“Not so little anymore, Simeon.” You laugh softly, greeting Luke and Solomon as they trail in behind him. Satan brushes his lips over your forehead before getting up to receive your guests.

The day is as ordinary as it can be. You talk and catch up with your friends, trading stories and laughter over cups of tea that neither grow cold nor go empty. When the session turns into a mini book club gathering halfway through, Luke helpfully retrieves the debated titles from the massive shelf in the living room. He takes a while to find them; you’ve accumulated plenty of works over the years: recommendations by Satan, literature published under Simeon’s pseudonym, and handwritten tomes from Solomon to keep you in touch with your magic. The shelf is practically jam-packed with books, the only exception being a corner on the topmost tier, housing a little space that’s empty save for a worn green collar with a rusted bell.

Come sundown the five of you are still neck-deep in discussion, but as with all good things, the get together eventually reaches an end.

“Thanks everyone, it’s been fun,” you say, reclining back in your bed as Satan wordlessly cleans up. You squeeze his hand when he returns to your side and bid the others goodbye. “Hopefully I’ll see you guys soon?”

“About that…” Solomon clears his throat, wearing the smug look that usually accompanies a trick being pulled out of his sleeve, but this time it’s tinged more with excitement than mischief. “Simeon has a little present for you first.”

The guileless smile on the angel’s face betrays nothing as he steps forward and reaches into a small pouch at his hip. “Solomon, Diavolo and I have a theory. Now, keep in mind that this is all very experimental, but if it works, you’ll have more options to choose from, should you so wish.”

And then he brings out a ring.

.

.

.

“Are you, uh, are you okay?”

“Not in the mood, Mammon.”

“Oi, I’m trying to be nice here! Who do you think covered for your sorry ass when you came back past curfew the other day, huh?”

“What the hell do you want?”

“You may think you’re all stealthy and shit, but your eyes were pretty red that night. I thought you were at a book club meeting. Did something happen?”

“None of your business.”

“Argh, fine then! This is the last time I try to be a good big brother.”

“…Mammon?”

“?”

“...”

“...”

“I’m sorry.”

“Eh, what are you — you can’t just say that and then run off! Get back here!”

.

.

.

“Twenty, nineteen, eighteen…”

Lilith’s countdown echoes along the deserted hallway, prompting Beel to nudge the deadweight on his back. “Belphie, go get your own hiding place.”

“Mmngh… zzz…”

“Come on, or she’ll win this round with a two for one. Again.”

“…Just dump me somewhere she won’t find me then.”

A tall order, especially since Lilith can easily track them down by listening out for Beel’s stomach and/or Belphie’s snores. Still, the sixth-born lumbers through the house as quietly as he can, doing a one-eighty whenever he hears Lilith’s cheerful hums coming from the opposite direction. Technically they can avoid being caught if they keep moving, but that would be cheating. They hid in the attic previously so that’s a no go, their room’s too obvious, the kitchen too tempting, the common room too exposed…

Maybe Levi’s room? The otaku had sound-proofed his walls to avoid distractions from the outside world when he’s gaming, so it’s an ideal location to hide. He can stash Belphie in the bathtub and run interference until time’s up.

Backtracking, Beel breaks into a light jog towards the other wing, keeping his ears open for their seeker. It’s only because of his heightened senses that he’s able to pick up the faintest traces of magic on one of the walls, causing him to pause in his steps.

“Hmm? Why’d you stop?” Slightly more awake now, Belphie rubs his eyes and slides off his twin, who’s studying the blank space intently. “What’s wrong, Beel?”

“There’s something here, something…”

“It’s just a wall —”

“No, don’t you feel it? I know you weren’t around then, but it’s the same glamor as that time Luke went missing and we —”

Beel goes white. He whispers a name, a name not spoken in the house for years, and a door flickers into view. One hand grabs Belphie’s in a death grip as the other twists the knob and pushes the door open, revealing an old yet familiar room.

The place is devoid of life. Most of the furniture are covered by sheets, resting under thick layers of dust. In the middle sits a tree, sagging with age and soft with rot. Sunken footprints mark the demons’ furtive venture into decrepit memory, and the creaking of floorboards with every step only tethers the growing nightmare closer to reality.

A photo frame crashes to the ground.

.

.

.

They deserve this.

Satan feels it the moment the spell concealing your room was broken. It had been his way of protecting your memory, ensuring that your sanctuary would only be accessible to those who made the effort to remember you. He cast it about a year after you had left the Devildom, after he realized that leaving your door in plain sight wasn’t doing you any favors.

Hidden away in an alcove at the back of the garden, curled up with a blanket and a thermos of hot tea, Satan slides a bookmark between the pages of his latest novel and leans his head back, closing his eyes with a heavy sigh.

Even this far away from the house, he can hear the cacophony of screams and shouts, objects being flung and shattered into pieces, a muted bang suggesting that a wall has just collapsed. The fallout comes as no surprise; waking up after living the past hundred years or so in a daze will do that to a person – or in this case, demons.

Although the sounds of fighting call to the rage bubbling within him, the vindictive thoughts of his brothers getting their just desserts cool it to a simmer. He knows he’ll have to face them eventually, but he’ll cross that bridge when he gets to it.

“Meow?”

Emerald eyes blink open. There’s a faint rustle from the nearby bushes as a tiny Calico wanders out of the foliage, peering around the garden curiously. Upon spotting the blond demon, it perks up and makes a beeline for him.

“Hm? You’re not Callie. Are you new here, little one?” His mood considerably improved, Satan extends a hand towards the kitten. It skips the finger sniffing step and goes straight to headbutting his palm, begging for attention.

“You’re an affectionate one, aren’t you?” Satan caves immediately and scritches away with a delighted chuckle. He examines the markings on its tri-colored fur, wanting to recognize the friendly feline if it comes back in the future. The Calico is mostly white with patches of brown and black splashed over the back of its neck, near the base of its tail, just under the side of its ribs, and several other spots that seem to collectively resemble a familiar pattern…

Satan’s hand stills. He whispers your name, trembling with hope, and the kitten practically leaps into his arms, nuzzling his chin with a happy purr.

[theaceofskulls]

My work’s internal network is a mess and I’ve been trying to keep myself entertained but screw it, I’m just gonna review the Hammer and Bolter Episodes.

Keep in mind that all of these have a little janky animation that I’m grading on a scale for. Also these are anthology episodes so I’m giving some leeway here and there.

1. Death’s Hand

A story about an Inquisitor who keeps consulting fortune tellers who tell him he’s going to die is about to get a promotion that takes him back to Terra. He suspects a lot is off and is proven right. Funnily enough this is probably one of the worst intro’s you can have, not that it’s a bad episode at all, but it deals with a lot of more squirreled away concepts of the Imperium including the Ordo Assassinorum (if you’re new to 40k and aren’t used to the names, oh boy is it a setting). Overall though it’s alright, with an unexpected turn or two.

6/10, worse ways to kill time

2. Bound for Greatness

Spooky story about a book counter at the local imperium not-library where the speaker system continues to warn you against doing anything other than a menial task and not to read anything. Look, you already know the twist this is going and I’ll admit that “forbidden knowledge” storylines are my least favorite things imaginable. Especially in a setting like this that continually emphasizes how fucking awful working and living in this universe is. There’s a fun moment with a daemon but otherwise this actually might be my least favorite of them all.

1/10, fuck your anti-intellectualism horror, Lovecraft, I know that’s you in the fucking floorboards

3. Old Bale Eye

The story of a human commissar, told by an Ork. This one is fantastic, with a lot more exaggeration in several of the animations and the script is allowed to be dumb and cheesy in a way that makes you smile the whole time. There’s not much more to talk about.

9/10, it only loses a point since it’s not a complete story

4. Fangs

Space Wolf commanders play a board game where they can get bonus points if their aspirant survive the hazing ritual they sent them out on. Yeah, the premise alone kinda rubs me the wrong way and it doesn’t help that everyone feels like they’re more moving figures than characters. There’s some interesting action scenes, but it’s let down by being a little too obvious on when one of the aspirants is “eliminated” from the game or not, meaning it’s clear who we should be following soon enough. The worst part though is that the commanders are the center focus while the aspirants are the ones in danger but they lack any personality, so it’s hard to care about anyone in the end.

3/10, this would’ve been better as them sitting around telling stories that get more and more obviously made up

5. A Question of Faith

Hey, it’s time for a Sisters of Battle episode! I wonder how they’re going to die nobly as martyrs. Okay in seriousness, the approaching Khorne cultist horde and the unexpected twist to how the irony played out was actually better than expected. I think the fact that there were only two characters in it somewhat limited what they could do with it and can see this one being polished up with a few more goes to be something good.

5/10, carried by the one scene of a Khorne cultist getting really upset that someone brought a gun to a gun fight rather than another knife

6. In the Garden of Ghosts

Hey aeldari fans, it’s time for you regular misery porn. Honestly though, this one is actually kind of neat in that it’s got a lot going on. Ultramarines are the actual villains, several characters to play off one another each of which has different thoughts on the past and future of their people, and a bittersweet ending that’s actually stuck with me. There’s a couple of moments that knock it down a few numbers though, where it feels like a scene was written more for the Space Marines than the Aeldari

8/10, i’m biased though so it’s probably got an extra point to it

7. Kill Protocol

A mechanicus episode centering around a Tech Priest and her robot as they are trying to grab a relic from aftermath of a battle with the Orks. There’s a melancholy vibe to the episode and a post-apocalyptic feel to it that also manages to weave its exposition in smoothly. Not to mention some fantastic character moments that manage to take advantage of the short story format it’s in. There’s a slight obvious moment towards the end, but considering how it manages to help make the character in question more complex due to their earlier actions (which I’m not spoiling because honestly it’s one of the stronger moments in the show, not just the episode), I’ll forgive it. This one is actually good.

9/10, I don’t have much more to say on this one

8. Cadia Stands

Imperial Guard vs Tyranids in a trench warfare episode. Generic war movie with its finger on fast forward, it might have worked as a full series or a book with more than two characters in it but it’s just boring.

2/10, just go watch Saving Private Ryan

9. Artefacts

After assaulting a necron world, a squad of Chaos Terminators are sent to pilfer artefacts from a Space Hulk. When they arrive, they discover they’re not the only spikey raiders hunting for the prize, but there’s some other... peculiarities. Honestly, this one is one of the best, even if you do have to know a bit about the guest stars in it. It has a great ending and terrible things happen to terrible people so there’s some catharsis. Also there’s fantastic amounts of easter eggs. Also the changes to the animation make for a much more interesting watch.

10/10, but it was always fated to be so

10. Plague Song

A Death Guard sorcerer decides it’s time for a change of leadership and embarks on a quest to raid an imperial stronghold to make his visions a reality. I’ve been trying not to give any negatives here for gore or stomach turning visuals. It’s 40k, it comes with the territory. And I try not to knock points off Nurgle stuff for going gross, but this episode does display one weakness of the series I’ve put off talking about: it tends to use disgust or shock similar to action. What I mean is that several scenes sometimes feel like they’re in the series to show off the gorn rather than to feel like they fit the tone. Thankfully that doesn’t take over too much of this episode, though it certainly does linger on a few scenes, and while I’d call that lingering fitting for the stagnant and trundling nature of Death Guard, it comes off more as “look at how gross we made this”, which if you’ve seen one night of adult swim, you’ve seen them all. The meat of the story is serviceable enough and watching the machinations unfold feels good in the end, but my expectations were always going to be a little higher after reading Lords of Silence. Though again, the faction is slow moving so it struggles in an anthology series.

7/10, Nurglings make everything better.

I’ll review more episodes as they come out and I feel like.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

I've mentioned this before a few times but seriously imagine if instead of Maya having to die (let's be real), Ava got Tyreen's powers and realizes being a Siren actually isn't as cool as it seems cuz whoops thousands of people are now hunting you for sport or experimentation and you can't touch anyone anymore without accidentally hurting them. You may now regret begging for the siren curse. Also, we'd actually get to see Maya train Ava as a Siren AND see what the phaseleech powers would have been like if they weren't broken between two people and the Phasewalk/lock powers weren't thrown into the mix.

Yes I'm still on this alt. Scenario because I think it would have been really cool and helped develop Ava as a character since her entire thing up until Maya's death was literally just "I'm going to be a Siren Vault Hunter" and then at the end of the story she just gets it without really working for any of it or even being prominent in the plot at all. She shows up, like, twice and then disappears until Troy dies. She literally just shows up at the end of the Troy fight and gets powers for that cutscene. I don't hate Ava but I will admit that was kind of a 'forced' moment for me. I knew what they were trying for, but damn they really missed the mark trying to make Ava Maya's lil trainee cuz we barely see them interact, and Maya isn't even alive long enough after her introduction to have the two of them talk beyond arguing. Im guessing a lot of their interactions were cut, and maybe also because Athenas was only a single map, but still.

And yeah okay for Ava to get powers, Maya dies and I guess that can be considered a drawback for her, but let's be real the issue I truly have with this whole thing is that Ava doesn't even work a BIT on screen to prove to the players she's a good choice (and in fact 2 of her most prominent moments are her disobeying a fan favorite character that then dies- it doesn't help her case). Maya dies, but that's not Ava's fault imo, and so Ava does literally nothing the whole story (I'm down for arguments either way, but the minute Maya decided holding Troy physically instead of using her Phaselock was somehow the better option when she knows at least one of those siblings can give others the deadly suck by physically touching them, my brain just shuts off) and she also learns nothing. If anything, she probably learns that if she just yells it enough at people, she'll get what she wants, cuz that's pretty much the extent of what she does in the main story beyond being sad and lockpicking (u wanna leave Athenas? Okay. You get your wish. You wanna be a Siren? Okay. Here's some powers. You wanna be a Vault Hunter? Okay. Here's the ship. Everything she yells about in the beginning of the game is handed to her just because um. Maya, I guess. She earns none of it herself). If, instead of it being Maya's powers, she got Tyreen's powers as one last "fuck you" to the Raiders, I think it'd make it feel a bit more like she's not just being handed everything she wants without working for any of it or learning a lesson because plot. Her character doesn't really change from the start of the story to the end, except that she's a bit sad that Maya died. It just feels so wrong. Idk. I think it'd be pretty cool if Ava accidentally hurt someone in the Raiders because she couldn't control her new powers so she could have that "oh shit" realization moment that a) being a Siren isn't all it's chalked up to be and b) she's gonna have to work to get her powers under control or risk hurting everyone around her. Her having that hurdle I think would have made a lot more people at the very least appreciate her as a character instead of calling for her death (yikes!)

Uh. Yeah. I have no idea what came over me to write this. I think Ava's biggest flaw to me is that she had Potential to be a good character but the writing fell flat under her. It started a story with her and then dropped it (like another character we know 🤔 his name rhymes with... boy), so she never really develops or learns beyond getting sad that Maya is gone. I don't hate her, but I can see why some people would, tho it's not really "her" fault, it's the writing, if that makes any sense.

Also, interesting note, I do consider Roland's death to be because Lilith ignored Angel's request and showed up, unlike Maya's. I don't think Jack would have shown up in control core Angel unless he thought there was very, very good reason to, and Lilith was Right There for the taking. He seemed to even plan that out, having the collar on him and everything, and Angel knew to warn them specifically because of that. Before that, Angel tells Jack that Maya is incapable of processing eridium like her (either due to ignorance or a desire to stop Maya from having a similar fate to her own) so Jack wouldn't have brought the collar for Maya. That said, it's fully Jack's fault Roland died and the blood is on his hands, I just don't think the situation would have played out the same without Lilith there.

Unlike that, I think the situation in the Vault of the Rampager would have happened regardless if Ava showed up or not. I always assumed the cutscene that happens when you 'leave' the Vault is actually what's happening while you're inside, and when the VHs walk out, Ava is alone.

If that's the case then Maya would have been alone when the twins showed up, and probably would have been done for like Lilith was, as Lilith is supposedly the More Powerful Siren. We'll never know for sure, but I get the feeling things would have played out pretty much the same. It's not like the twins showed up for Ava, they wanted the Rampager, and the Rampager was already dead when Ava made herself known. Maya's alone, against 2 cult leaders with no way of contacting the other VHs cuz they're in the Vault and Tannis is the only one who apparently can (since Maya does not have a freaky live action pop up ad, good for her) and echoing is a no go as it's established connection is awful down below the city. She can only Phaselock 1 person at a time, so she either Phaselocks Tyreen (if she even can) and gets dusted by Troy, or she Phaselocks Troy and gets her powers stolen (and probably killed or left to die by cultist) by Tyreen. No winning for her. It would have happened regardless if Ava was there or not, so people blaming Ava for Maya's death should probably just blame the finalized script.

I don't think it's right to blame either Lilith or Ava for their respective loved one's death. Like yeah Jack wouldn't have gotten that opportunity to kill Roland had Lilith not shown up, but Jack wasn't suddenly forced to pull the trigger because Lilith showed up. He did that all by himself. Similarly, Ava not showing up wouldn't have stopped the twins from attacking Maya. She just changed the topic of conversation a lil bit. And Ava has all the combat ability of thin air at this point, so her appearance or non-apperance made no difference whatsoever when it was Maya vs the twins.

Oh God I've been typing for like an hour BYE bed time for me

[toothpastecanyon]

Stolen Slate, Chapter 1

As the years go on, Dipper finds the cultists summoning him are becoming increasingly obsessive, increasingly creepy. It had gone too far long before a group of them broke into the Mystery Shack and stole Mabel's memories, but now he has to get them back before they find out about Alcor the Dreambender's ultimate secret... and before Mabel gets too freaked out by the news that her brother has turned into a demon.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

______________________________________________________________

It was quiet, here. Quiet like a grave. Quiet, but not peaceful. The dust was still settling, the blood was still pooling, and Alcor the Dreambender stood still in the remains of yet another basement.

The light - it was out, had been blown out. One small shattered window tilted up to the moon revealed what it could not; revealed the scuffed up chalk dust in the air, the candles knocked over, the bodies piled up by a locked door - even the desperate nail-marks they’d made in the paint, it revealed those too.

It revealed Alcor, standing over the closest one. This one, nearer to the circle - had less time to get away, left less of a body to inspect. Still he could see a necklace glinting at him from the gristle; he picked it up, and frowned.

It was a symbol of the Dreambender, the Twin Star. An elaborate one, made of spelled silver that singed his hand a little as he held it. A lot of time and skill and money had gone into making this… and that was the problem, wasn’t it?

These Alcor cultists, they were getting sophisticated. They were getting dangerous. He still got those summons from people who were choosing him out of dozens of other demons, but now there were people dedicating their life to him, studying his every move, immortalising his every decision. The Alcor/Mizar stuff was only supposed to be an alias; the dumb twin star design he slapped on his public circles was something Mabel made in a night, but now it was taking on a whole new life before his eyes.

Alcor stared at the blood on the symbol before him, and knew there were people worshipping him.

His face twisted, and he crumpled it it into a ball and threw it at the wall so hard it brought the roof down. The window was crushed under a slab of concrete, and Alcor stood still in the darkness, breathing.

Breathing.

Breathing.

In the distance, police sirens were beginning to cut through the quiet. He bared his teeth a little at that, then stepped back, stepped away-

Stepped into the living room of the Mystery Shack, where a TV was on, playing quietly an episode of that soap opera Stan wouldn’t admit he liked. He followed the light over to Stan himself, snoring on the couch with a half-empty bottle of pitt cola in his hand. He didn’t stay asleep for long, though; Dipper could see his aura register the presence of someone else in the room, and without opening his eyes Stan spoke:

“You’re a better door than a window, kid. Move.”

Dipper snorted and stepped aside. “”I thought you didn’t like this show.”

“And I don’t.” He changed the channel. “Wanna watch Ducktective? Might be in the reruns.”

Something struck Dipper as odd in Stan’s tone, there. He frowned, looked down, and immediately saw the problem: he was covered head to toe in blood.

“Oh,” he said, in a small voice. He’d hardly noticed this time.

Faintly, he could hear Stan rise from his chair. “I’ll getcha a cola, kid,” he heard, and then there was a squeeze on his shoulder. “Looks like you need it.”

“Wait, I don’t…” Dipper shook his head. “Do you know where Mabel is? I-I just, I-I kinda wanna talk to her, please.”

“Oh, sure, kid. She’s upstairs, go to her.”

That… immediately struck Dipper as strange. He hadn’t felt Mabel in the house; he cast his mind upwards, and found only quiet.

“What do you mean, Grunkle Stan?”

Stan stopped by the doorway. “She’s upstairs. She went to go to sleep after you left - I didn’t hear nothing after that.” He turned to look at Dipper, and there was something glinting in his eyes. “What, is she not there?”

Dipper frowned. The quiet upstairs… it was strange. Unsettled. In the attic, he could feel some kind of presence, but it was masked somehow; every time he grabbed at it, it slid through his fingers like soap.

It wasn’t quiet.

Something was wrong.

He looked back to Stan, and saw him with a baseball bat gripped tight in his hands. Wordlessly, they started up the stairs.

One step. Two steps. Softly on the third - it creaked. Dipper’s glowing eyes cut through the darkness, and his ears picked up the faintest hum of a working ward. He could feel his human form melting into void as they approached the attic door; he had no heart, but he could feel black anger pounding through him. Their bedroom, their safe place, was taken over and obscured by some powerful magic, but he pressed his long claws to the wood and felt no resistance at all. Whatever was in there, it couldn’t hide from him.

Alcor bared several rows of teeth, and burst through the door with a deafening snarl.

The first thing he saw: shadows. Humans wearing black. About seven souls were clustered around Mizar’s sleeping form; one of them was shining something blue at her head, and he flew across the room to clamp his teeth around its neck. He landed a bit higher than he expected - more around the jaw - but he bit down and felt it scream and break and bleed all the same. There were screams all around him, humans running for the open window, but Alcor savoured this moment, savoured the fear in its eyes as its blood painted the ceiling.

It had something in its hand, didn’t it? Alcor’s eyes darted to the side, but the blue thing was gone. Huh.

For the moment, that didn’t concern him. He saw the soul dislodging itself from this human, and caught it just as it bubbled out of his throat.

Ohhhhh, sweet soul. Alcor couldn’t help but close his eyes and tilt his head back as he chewed it; it had been a while since he’d treated himself to one of these, and in the moment he couldn’t imagine why he’d ever deny himself the pleasure. It tasted like every candy in the world, every dish he loved, every time he’d ever been happy.

It tasted like a piece of heaven, and from the sound of the screams surrounding him, it seemed like he’d have a few more pieces tonight.

...or just a scream, it seemed.

A scream, and a yell.

“-snap out of it, kid! They’re gone! Dipper!”

Alcor blinked, and looked up at the human.

“Dipper!”

He opened his mouth. “...Gr̕un͘k҉l͢e ͘Stan?”

“Ah, there we go. Took you long enough.” Stan offered a hand as the void cleared from his skin. “See, he’s alright. Not gonna hurt ya.”

“Not gonna hurt who?” Dipper squinted as the lights turned on. “Where’d they go?”

“Through the window, but we got a bigger problem.”

Dipper suddenly realised the fear still watering his mouth didn’t come from any cultist. It came from one terrified person, and as Stan pointed to the bed, he felt his heart stop.

“It’s your sister.”

Mabel was there. Mabel was staring at his bloodsoaked clothes, at his glowing eyes, at his huge wings… like she didn’t recognise him at all.

“Wh-what the fuck is that, Stan?” Mabel flattened herself against the wall. “What’s going on? Where’s Dipper?”

And all at once, a horrible realisation clicked into place for Dipper. That blue light - the memory gun. Oh, no. Oh, please, no.

“Mabel-”

“Don’t come any closer!” She flinched when he tried to step forwards. “I saw what you did to that man. I swear, if you hurt my brother like that-”

“I am your brother.”

“What?”

“Mabel, I…” Dipper looked down at himself, and back up at the terror in her eyes. He felt sick. “You don’t remember what happened, do you?”

“What happened?”

“The Transcendence? Bill dying? Me becoming a demon?” He pleaded for a bit of recognition, but all he got was fear. “You don’t, no… They wiped it all. It’s all gone.”

“What’s all gone? Grunkle Stan, what’s happening?”

Stan was like a statue. He sighed at Mabel’s words, and walked over to her.

“It’s… a long story, Pumpkin. How about we go downstairs and tell it over some pancakes, huh?”

[normal-thoughts-official]

Aftermath

The MC survives Richard Sutcliffe's attempted murder.

This is what happens after.

Fandom: It Lives (Visual Novels)

Relationships: Main Character & Tom Sato & Imogen Wescott & Danni Asturias, Elliot Vance & Main Character (It Lives Beneath), Danni Asturias/Imogen Wescott, Robbie Sutcliffe/Elliot Vance (mentioned), Richard Sutcliffe & Dying

Additional Tags: Crack, Humor, Canon Compliant, Mentions of Sex, that's basically it honestly this is just crack, also yes my character is named That Bitch that is his name, i do not have the maturity to pick my character's names and be normal about it, and since this is a crackfic i thought it was fitting to keep the name i had originally picked, anyway. enjoy, no beta we die like men, honestly the whole thing with robert trying to murder the MC was so crazy, im just like, theres no way to react to this that isnt crazy

Read it on Ao3

When Robbie and Elliot get back home from their date, the first thing they see is That Bitch making fishsticks, as expected. However, the kitchen is half-destroyed and That Bitch is drenched head to toe in lake water, which is considerably less expected. Richard Sutcliffe's corpse, which had apparently spawned into their kitchen for the purposes of quick visual storytelling, was also there.

"Uh… Watcha got there, That Bitch?" Elliot asks, frozen in place.

"Fishsticks," That Bitch replies, showing him the frying pan. "They'll be ready in a minute."

Robbie stares at the body, frozen in shock. "Is that my dad?" he asks.

"Hah, more like your dead," That Bitch replies, then does a double take. "No, wait, shit. I'm sorry, Robbie. I don't know why I brought his body here. Seemed like a good idea at the time. In my defense, I didn't know you'd be joining us."

"Robbie, uh, really likes fishsticks," Elliot says, face red.

"Yeah, no, I was stupid for thinking you'd spend time apart willingly, it's on me," That Bitch replies. "Anyway, Robbie, I'm, uh, sorry."

Robbie swallows. "Did you go looking for my dad's corpse in the lake, or…?"

"What? Oh, uh, no. No offense, but I kinda had other worries in my mind."

"Right, that's what I thought."

They stare at each other.

"Sooo… Fun conversation starters for the night... Why is my dad's corpse here?"

"Right. That's because I, uh, killed him. But in my defense, he started it."

"That sounds about right," Robbie nods. "What did he do?"

"Oh, you know. Showed up while I was cooking, struck me with tranquilizers, then shoved me into a coffin and threw me in the lake. The usual."

"I thought he was dead," Elliot says, dumbfounded.

"He is now! Better late than never. No, wait. Sorry, Robbie."

"It's okay," Robbie shrugs.

"Man, grandma kinda sucks at this whole murder thing. So many NPCs showed up in the story just to die, and she couldn't even take care of Robert? I thought her vendetta was specifically against the cultists anyway," Elliot says.

"Yeah, I remember I saw her running after Robert during the whole townpocalypse, she had a marlinspike and everything. I guess he just, like, survived being stabbed by a ghost."

"Wow, lame. No, wait. Sorry, Robbie."

Robbie shrugs. "It's okay. I mean, I already assumed he was dead, so it's not, like, news or anything. Also, yeah, your grandma kinda let you down on that one."

Elliot and That Bitch look at each other for a second. "Right. You kids should go into the living room do something appropriate for your age yet couple-y. I will get his body somewhere more hygienic, and then we can, like, properly talk about this."

"Sure, sounds like a plan," Elliot says, already grabbing Robbie's hand.

As if on cue, grandpa shows up. "Hey, kids. Sorry I'm late, I lost track of time. Hope you didn't do anything fishy. Heh. Oh my god, what is that?"

"Fishsticks," all three of them reply at once.

-----

The kids go into the living room, and That Bitch and Arthur debate what to do with the body.

"Maybe we should take it to the police?"

"Right, because cops are totally trustworthy to deal with something like this, particularly in this town," That Bitch replies.

"Touché. Why didn't you just dump him into the lake? People would just assume that he died during the flood like everybody else."

"His face is smashed in by what is clearly a hammer," That Bitch replies.

"And? Cops are stupid, they wouldn't question it."

"Holy fuck, you're so right. Damn."

----

They hand the body over to the body-fishing efforts, who predictably didn't ask anything about it. As a quick goodbye, Robbie said, "rest in piss, dad," before handing over the body. It was really emotional. Elliot put his hand over Robbie's shoulder solemnly and everything.

When they're leaving, they run into Tom, who was also volunteering to help with the efforts before he had to go back to college, because apparently at no point will he ever think he's done enough for strangers he's never met in his life. "Hey, guys, what's up?", he asks.

"Hey Tom. Richard tried to kill me."

"Oh my God, did you die? No, wait. I meant, are you okay?"

That Bitch shrugs. "You should see the other guy."

"Last time one of us said that, the other guy was completely unscathed."

"Last time one of us said that, it was you."

"Unprovoked???"

"Please stop referencing the Karl Marx K-pop Stan Fight every time we talk," That Bitch sighs.

"It fuels me."

"Right. Anyway, do you know where Imogen and Danni are? I kinda figured I should tell the details to you guys in person, and all. Feels weird to announce my almost-murder via text. WikiHow had no tips on how to do that."

"Oh, I know exactly where Danni and Imogen are," Tom says. "I've seen things, That Bitch."

"Good for them, good for them."

"Yeah. We should stop by Danni's place in like, three hours or something, and see if we can give them the details. Speaking of which, why is your grandma so bad at murdering the right people?"

"This is actually the one thing I don't have an answer to."

"Hey, cut Josie some slack," grandpa says.

"She tried to kill you," Tom points out.

"Yeah, but like, mood, you know?", he replies, shrugging.

"Solid point."

----

They get to Danni's house three hours later, as agreed, and knock on the door lightly to let them know they are there, and still See Things.

"Oh my god, Tom, again???," Danni screams, throwing an embarrassing capybara plushie at him.

"I should be the one saying that!! How are you back at it already??"

"'Back'?" Danni asks, frowning.

"He thinks we stopped at some point, babe," Imogen explains, with the patience of someone talking to a toddler.

"Oh, like, for snacks?"

"No, because we'd be tired or something. Like, for a few hours."

"Damn, lame. What do you think we are, 70?"

"I think you are very naked and making no move to fix that," That Bitch intervenes.

"Oh, right! Sorry, sorry," Imogen says, startling to hustle to find her clothes in the middle of the mess of the living room.

"You come into my house, you make Imogen put clothes on," Danni grumbles, pretending that she's looking for her bra, which is right in front of her and also bright yellow.

"Sorry, it's kind of an emergency. Richard, uh, tried to kill me."

"Yeah, but did you die?"

"Danni!," Imogen says, clearly going for a scolding tone, which is completely undermined by the way she's giggling at her antics.

"What? He looks fine to me. I'm sure Richard can wait a few more hours before we start looking for him again, or whatever."

"A few more hours?" Tom asks, shocked.

"Actually, I killed Richard already," That Bitch replies.

"Well, what the fuck are you doing here then? The case is closed. We'll see you tomorrow!" Danni says, shushing them out of the room.

"Tomorrow?" Tom squeaks.

----

Tom and That Bitch stare at each other as the door locks behind them. "I need more stamina," Tom says, pouting.

"Personally, I just broke a coffin while underwater, so I think I'm good."

"Damn bro, that's crazy."

"Well, you know how Fridays are."

"True. Did you guys have your fishsticks, at least?"

"Yeah."

"Cool. So, should we play videogames, or?"

"Sounds like a plan."

And that's that. Well, at least it was quick.

[twilightknight17]

...today, on P5S...

...

Honestly, I talk a lot of shit about P5′s writing sometimes. Atlus made some exceptionally questionable writing choices in places. But one thing that P5 absolutely gets right is invoking the sort of emotion that draws you into the story.

With that said!

P5 is determined to make me want to stab actual human beings instead of Shadows. This is the second time now!

But first, I’ve got a boss fight to do.

Doing the mech part of Konoe’s boss fight again, it was actually easier the second time. I had a much better grasp of what I was doing, instead of flailing around frantically.

Konoe himself was still just as hard, but ultimately he was easier than Shadow Joker because it wasn’t a one-on-one duel. He still beat my ass, though; I think I used all of my rescue pills.

Once he goes down, Konoe starts going on about justice.

Don’t call me by my name like we’re friends. We never even introduced ourselves.

It’s interesting, because they admit to Konoe that what they’re doing isn’t without its flaws. But a world where no one can think for themselves is meaningless.

Konoe acknowledges that in his quest to eliminate evil, he ended up being the evil one. He also admits that he was the one who killed his father. He calls that “evil” too, which I don’t actually agree with. We saw what his father was like in the Trauma Cell. His father killed his mother, physically abused him, and threatened to kill him. I think, in that case, killing his father is a rational end result for someone in that situation. Not evil, just desperation.

The Thieves don’t contradict him, though. Just make some comments about how now he can make up for his actions. His Shadow returns to his real self, the Thieves return to the real world, and Zenkichi promises that as soon as they take Konoe in and get his confession, he’s going to arrest Owada, too.

With the case closed, the Thieves decide that it’s time to go back to Tokyo. But not before one last night in Osaka. The idea of leaving makes Sophia anxious, though, because she feels like she hasn’t learned enough about the heart. But Akira and Morgana reassure her that she can still stay with them, even after they return to Tokyo, and they’ll keep looking for answers about who she is.

Sometimes a family is a guy, a cat, and one of the guy’s four younger sisters. ^_^

Tenboto is the tower, and the game asks you to invite someone to the top. However, this time, you can only invite either the group of girls or the group of boys, so I took the boys, since I took Haru on the ferris wheel before.

Morgana isn’t pleased that we didn’t invite Ann.

However, I really don’t see the problem.

Look at how he’s looking at Yusuke! Even Ryuji can tell that we’re having a moment. :D

Afterwards, the whole squad headed off to “Universaland” to celebrate together.

I had no idea that there was a Universal Studios in Japan, but apparently there is, and it is in fact in Osaka! They compared it to their trip to Destinyland the year before, but thankfully this one went a lot better. Everyone had a good time! We had so much soda! We were so hungover the nex--what.

...what is it with Persona characters getting drunk off soda? XD I hope you kids at least played the King’s Game so the hangover wasn’t in vain.

Zenkichi shows up to let them know that Konoe’s in custody. He thanks them for everything that they’ve done, for both Akane and him, and says he’s telling them goodbye for now, but they’re welcome to visit whenever they want. He promises a tour of Kyoto next time. Yusuke will be so happy!

After hours on the road, lamenting that vacation is coming to an end, Sophia suggests detouring to Yokohama for a fireworks festival. So the Thieves finally get to see fireworks, and Sophia gets to experience them, too.

........don’t make me go home yet. I just want to spend time with my friends without the world ending.

After the fireworks, you get to speak to each of your friends, and get a trinket from each of them. Ann gives you a handmade friendship bracelet, Makoto a phantom thieves keychain that Akane made, Ryuji a Feather Red Duke mask to match his Yellow Ostrich, Yusuke his sketchbook that he filled with pictures of the trip, Morgana a scarf in phantom thief colors, Sophia a pair of custom gloves to match the scarf, Haru a teaspoon from Hokkaido with a flower pattern that symbolizes familial love, and Futaba a good luck charm for keeping families together.

STOP, P5S, you’re going to make me cry. Let these kids stay close.

Right before they’re about to leave, they take a group picture for Sophia, which we don’t get to see. Which sucks. But then she realizes that she can smell a Jail, and Zenkichi calls in a panic. It’s never a good sign when someone calls and leads with “Are you watching the news?”

EMMA’s servers were shut down, but apparently reactivated, and now a Jail is covering Tokyo all the way to the outskirts of Yokohama, and it’s just getting bigger. Zenkichi promises to meet us, and Lavenza opens a Velvet door because she wants to talk.

She’s... legitimately unnerved.

Thank you, P5S, for giving me the opportunity to comfort my youngest sister in some small way. Now let me out of this cell so I can actually give her a hug. With the context from Royal that she has actual nightmares about being ripped apart, this is heartbreaking.

She says that she regrets that she has to keep asking us for help, but the dialogue options let you reassure her that you’ll handle it, and that there’s thinking to worry about.

I appreciate having dialogue to actually reassure her more than I probably should.

Now...

LAST WARNING

If you’ve been reading along and don’t want the finale spoiled, DO NOT GO PAST THIS POINT. As soon as we leave for central Tokyo, we’re going 90mph and not slowing down.

If I didn’t have work in the morning, I’d have finished this damn game tonight. X’‘‘D Curse being a responsible adult.

After leaving the Velvet Room, Zenkichi’s waiting at the RV, and when you enter the RV, that’s when you get the warning above.

So we are off to Tokyo to figure out what the heck is happening with EMMA. And the core location is, exactly like I wanted...

LET’S CLIMB TOKYO TOWER, BABY.

People are crowded around the tower like mindless cultists. The Thieves are confused and unnerved, and then EMMA activates the navigation on its own and flings them into the Metaverse. LET’S SEE WHAT’S UP THIS TOWER.

...oh.

......oh no...

Ohhhhhhh no this is Mementos. Why is this Mementos. This is not a tower. Oh god. Why this.

Oh, we are incredibly fucked, what is this.

EMMA says calls itself the “Ark of the Covenant and the guide for all mankind.” This fucking AI thinks it’s a god. Holy hell. Human cognition really needs to cool it with elevating ordinary things to god status. We’re so tired. X’D

......I FUCKING KNEW THAT I DIDN’T TRUST THIS WOMAN. OH MY GOD.

She goes off about how EMMA brought her into this world to help it become a god. How Konoe teaching EMMA about cognitive psience allowed it to pass the usual boundaries of AI. How EMMA has been manipulating Konoe all along. How EMMA’s going to fulfill all of humanity’s desires.

Ichinose-san, may I suggest that you go hang out with Maruki? He has too much heart, and you have none. You’d complement each other perfectly, and then I can shove you both off a building.

The kids, obviously, reject this bullshit.

Logic over emotion, to the point of utter ridiculousness. She complains that people always want solutions to their problems, but that when the solution is offered, they turn it down.

Maybe that’s because your solution is mind control. At least Maruki wasn’t flagrantly puppeteering people.

“Li!” you cry, throwing up your hands at me. “Is this it? Is this why you want to stab her? Did you just admit that she’s worse than Maruki?”

To which I answer, “Oh, no. It’s the next bit that makes me want to stab her.”

After she straight-up admits that she has no emotions, she manipulated us right from the start, she was the one spying on the Monarchs, and that all of her cheer and friendliness is an act, the Thieves are ready to fight Ichinose. And Ichinose reveals why EMMA wanted her help specifically. Because not only did she program EMMA, she created Sophia as EMMA’s prototype.

And she can voice-override Sophia.

The Thieves freak out, the game throws us into a battle against a murder-mode Sophie, and none of your teammates will attack her. They just hang back or let her whale on them one at a time, and I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t attack her either, and Yusuke got knocked out...

And then it went into a cutscene.

Joker took a yo-yo to the face and was actually bleeding, and that was enough to snap Sophia out of it. She starts clutching her head, stumbling back, and eventually stumbles right off the edge while apologizing to Joker. He lunges to catch her, misses, Ryuji grabs him, and all the Thieves turn on Ichinose.

Ichinose does not give a shit. She just comments that maybe that’s why EMMA used Sophia as a failsafe, because it knew we wouldn’t want to fight one of our own. Shut the fuck up. You killed my little sister. I know she’s probably going to be fine, but it’s the principle of the thing.

She summons some sort of giant red crystal and blasts the hell out of us, sending us flying down even further into the depths.

We found Sophia; she won’t cut back on, so we have to get out of here so Futaba can figure out what’s wrong with her. And then, I am coming back, I am beating that woman to a pulp, and then...

Well. It’s bound to be easier to kill an artificial god than a false one. :3

[ms-rampage]

Eden's Gate: Kidnapped Chapter 15 - Winchester vs Seed

Word count: 3,365

Warnings: Smut right off the bat, swearing, angst, pregnancy annoucment, Paige threatening to put a poopy diaper in John's face, Paige giving John the lecture of his life!!!!! and its just a roller coast of emotions in this one. FORESHADOWING THE NEXT SERIES THAT TAKES PLACE A FEW YEARS EARLIER!!!!!!!.

The final 3 chapters are gonna long ones.

He has her pinned to the bed, lavishing her neck with love bites and kisses.

Kenny, who hasn’t gotten to pleasure his wife in months, finally gets to do that.

Her naked body underneath him, her legs wrapped around his waist. 

Paige has been waiting for this day for so long, Kenny’s body pressed against hers.

The day she was kidnapped, they were gonna conceive another baby that same night, but of course Eden’s Gate had to ruin it by taking her away. Fuck them. Fuck the Project. Fuck the Seeds. Fuck them all to Hell.

Kenny continues down her body, his mouth doing all the work, his thick beard tickling her skin, leaving kisses and bites all the way down her body.

“Kenny?” she moans, as he leaves kisses on her abdomen

He stops, and looks up at her, hovering over the lower half of her body.

She sits up, cupping his face and says softly. 

“I want you to impregnate me” 

He looks at her with disbelief, his eyes widened. 

“You serious?” he mutters. 

She nods her head, “Yes, like we were supposed to do months ago”.

A smile grows on his face, and he crashes his lips against hers, his hand getting tangled in her hair. 

He sits up, and takes off his shirt, Paige unbuttons his pants, he gets off the bed and takes them off along with his boxers. 

He climbs on the bed, aligns himself with Paige’s cunt, and shoves himself inside her without hesitation. 

She cries out in pleasure, wanting, waiting for so long for him to fuck her again.

He puts her legs over his shoulders, digging his fingers into her hips, and fucking her senseless without any thought of stopping or slowing down. 

Her moans bounce off the walls, as well as his grunting and the sound of their skin slapping together. 

She can feel his cock twitch inside her, he lets out a throaty whimper, as a sign that he’s getting close. 

She grips the sheets to the bed, and lets out a soft whimper.

She moves her hands up his arms, digging her nails into his muscular biceps.

His muscles tense up, as he’s fucking her the shit out of her. Sweat building up on his forehead, his hair sticking to his forehead. 

Paige lets out a pitchy whimper, Kenny knows that she’s close to cumming. 

“Let it out” he moans, as he’s still shoving himself into her tight cunt.

She arches her back, and cums all of his cock. 

Her body vibrates as she orgasms. Kenny’s not far behind, he’s very close.

“Ready honey?” his voice hoarse, his eyes filled with lust. 

“Yeah” she moans. 

He presses his forehead to hers, they look into each other's eyes, and he releases himself.

His hot seed flowing into her cunt, bathing her in his cum.

He rocks her hips as he continues to release himself into her, wanting to get her pregnant again.

He pulls out, and collapses next to her. Both breathing heavily but both completely satisfied.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do that” he says, pulling her to cuddle with him.

“How do you think I feel?” she says, cuddling up to his chest. 

He chuckles, and pulls her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her. 

Placing a kiss on her head. 

___________________________________________________

A week has passed, well to be exact 9 days have passed, and Paige is starting to feel the early pregnancy symptoms she had when she was pregnant with Cristina.

She doesn’t have any pregnancy tests. 

So she puts Cristina in her carseat, her mom Mandy comes along, and they drive to a nearby drugstore for some pregnancy tests, and some stuff for dinner that evening.

Kate, Kenny, Nate, Mark, Martin, Cody and Adrian stay back to keep an eye, or several eyes on the house. 

They park the car, and walk to some drugstore in Falls End, Paige barely recognizes it, everything looks like it has changed in over the course of 2 months since she was kept prisoner at St. Francis. John Seed must’ve been threatening the owners of the businesses. 

Paige isn’t scared of him, if she saw him right there in Falls End, she’d punched him square in his face. 

Hell maybe she’ll put Cristina’s dirty shitty diaper in his face. Who knows!!. Sometimes the universe decides. 

She has Cristina in a Moby classic wrap baby carrier, Mandy who is a semi paranoid woman walks next to her with a pistol in her holster, and knife in her back pocket, armed and ready incase any peggie fucks want to die. 

They walk past the Spread Eagle bar, and Mary May from the corner of her eye sees Paige and Mandy walk by. She gets out from the behind the bar counter, and goes outside. 

“Paige?!” she says, in shock. 

They both turn around, “Hey Mary” Paige says.

“You’re-you’re alive!?!!!” she exclaims. 

“And well” she jokes.

She sees “Pride” on her chest.

“John got you!?” she says, motioning to her chest.

“Yeah the little fucker marked me. But he’ll get what's coming to him. Him, Joseph, Jacob and even Faith even though she didn’t do anything to me”

Mary crosses her arms over her chest “Yeah, John’s been reaping some of the businesses here. He got the apple farm up the road, he got Rae-Rae’s, a few other businesses and also Lamb of God church” she says.

“So he’s basically got almost every business in Holland Valley?” Mandy asks.

Mary nods her head, “Yep, all he needs now is the Falls End church, the gunshop, the auto shop, Rye’s aviation and my bar”. 

“Oh shit, it's a matter of time before he gets our place” Mandy says to Paige.

“And he won’t because I won’t let him take away my home” she replies to her. 

“Someone’s gotta stop him, and I believe you can do it Paige. Because everyone except you is scared of him, and your sister dated him” 

“Yeah, yeah he told me that during my torture session. I wanted to rip his fucking head off his shoulders” she says looking at the ground.

“Well it great seeing you again Mary, take care” Paige says,

“You too take care” she replies and she goes back into the bar.

Mandy, and Paige make it to the drugstore, and they see a couple of peggies hanging outside of it.

Paige rolls her eyes “Oooohh great, just what we needed” she says, annoyed.

“Just keep walking” Mandy instructs her. 

The peggie fucks see them approaching, and they just stare at them as they walk inside.

Normally Paige would be all over them but she brought her infant daughter with her, and didn’t want her to get caught in the crossfire. 

Paige goes into the aisle with the pregnancy tests, and grabs a couple of them. 

Mandy comes to her with a basket of chips, alcohol and a bunch of random snacks.

Paige looks down at the basket, and lets out a short laugh “Is this dinner?”. 

Mandy lets out a short laugh herself, “No this is just the essentials”. 

They shop for a little bit longer, pay for the stuff, and head back to the car.

As they’re walking back to the car, Paige has the urge to pee. Luckily they’re near the Spread Eagle, “Hold on I really need to use the bathroom” she says to her. 

She takes Cristina out of her wrap, and hands her to Mandy.

She grabs one of the pregnancy tests from the bag, and goes inside the bar.

Mandy waits outside with Cristina, and talks to her.

As she’s talking a few of the Cults truck drive by, and followed by a black SUV with tinted windows.

Paige does her business, she opens the pregnancy tests, and dips it in the urine infested toilet water.

She takes it out, setting it on the box that's on the counter and waits. 

She flushes the toilet and washes her hands. 

It takes a couple minutes for her to get the results, and it's the longest moments of her life!!! 

Finally after 2 minutes of waiting, she gets her results and SHE’S PREGNANT!!!!!!!.

Tears start to form in her eyes, she jumps excitedly in the somewhat dirty bathroom, and she goes outside to her mom. 

Mary sees tears in her eyes.

“Paige are you okay?” she asks, concerned.

She turns her head to face her “I’m fine, Just found out I’m pregnant” she says, holding the pregnancy test.

“Congratulations!!!” she says, excitedly.

Paige goes outside, and shows Mandy the test.

“You’re pregnant?!” she exclaims. 

She nods her head.

“Come on, let's go home, so I can tell the others” she says, and they go into the car.

They drive out of Falls End, down the road home.

When they pull into the driveway, Paige senses something isn’t quite right.

“Something doesn’t feel right” she says.

“It could be gas” Mandy says, “I had a lot of gas when I found out I was pregnant with Kate. But then it could’ve been all the Thai food I ate during that pregnancy”

They get out of the car, Paige wraps Cristina back in her wrap carrier. Mandy walks in front of her, she pulls out her gun, and slowly opens the door.

No one in the kitchen, or dining room.

When you enter the house the first room you enter in the dining room, and the kitchen to the left.

They hear shuffling coming from the living room, Mandy is the first one to enter, and sees Adrian, Martin and Cody tied up on the floor, somewhat bloody, shirtless, and struggling to release themselves.

“Shit” Mandy says, Paige walks in behind her and sees her friends tied up.

“What happened?!?!” she asks, panicking.

“It's the Cult they’re here!!!” Adrian exclaims, pointing his head to behind Paige and Mandy.

They turn around, and see some peggies holding Mark, Nate and Kenny hostage, they’re bloody, shirtless and it looks like they put up a fight against those Cultist fucks.

John Seed enters the room, and Paige’s mood changes from panic to pure raging hatred mixed with violence.

“Thought I wouldn’t get you?” he asks, with a smug cocky smile.

“And you thought it was a good idea to fuck with me? you asshole” she spits at him.

“Is that anyway to talk in front of your child?” he says, motioning to Cristina who is still in her wrap carrier. Paige notices John has a few scratches on his face

A couple of peggies grab them, and point their guns at them. John goes back into the other half of the living room, and brings Kate out who has duct tape over her mouth, a red handprint on her neck like she was choked, and her hands tied up.

“You little fucking shit” Paige yells at him, and is instantly, and aggressively pulled back by the peggie. Which makes Cristina cry, John rolls his eyes, and says “Will someone shut up that little beast!!!”.

That remark completely pissed off, and angered Kenny “You son of bitch” he mutters aggressively, and is pulled back by the peggie. 

The peggie that's holding Paige is about to grab Cristina out of her carrier, and she elbows him in the neck and he falls to the floor. 

She’s pretty sure she broke it with that hard, fast strike. 

“What the fuck do you want John?” she asks, trying to calm down Cristina.

“This” he says, looking around the house.”Your house, it's the 2nd biggest one in town, and of course mine being number 1”.

“Well you can’t have it. So why don’t you take your little merrymen, and get your lawyer ass off my property” she says, with rage.

2 more peggies come out from the other half of the living room, and they both grab Paige.

John approaches her, and says. “You see there is that Greed. You only care about yourself”.

Paige scoffs, and says. “Really? Is that what you think? I only care about myself?. Psssh no John, I care about my family, I care about my friends, but you know who I don't care about John? I don’t care about you, and your family. That does not make me greedy, or selfish, that means I’m selfless, don’t get those two words mixed up Johnny I know your small brain can’t handle that much. I care for my loved ones needs before my own. I care about my family’s business that my father, and his father, and father before him have worked so hard to keep together, and that is something you”ll never know about John”. She stops talking to catch her breath, and lets John take in everything that she said. 

She continues lecturing him “Hell Kate even told me that she told you everything about what my family does, she told me about the demon possessing you a few years ago when she was attending the University. By the way does Joseph know you had pre-marital sex with my sister? Because isn’t that a sin? You’re a hypocrite to own words John!!. But what do I know I’m just a nasty little sinner”. 

She can see the rage building in his eyes, the blue in his eyes are gone. 

Regardless she’s still not scared of him.

He smirks, turning his back to her, he grabs Kate’s arm, bringing her in front of Paige, while he stands next to her.

“It’s funny how you two are related. And yes I’m aware of your family business. Ghosts, vampires, werewolves they don’t exist!” 

Paige looks over at Mandy and rolls her eyes. 

“Then how do you explain Saleos and Merihem?!!!??” she asks.

He ignores her question, and continues his lecture to her

“Your family is filled with sinners. Didn't think I’d remember you Mandy, and after what Joseph did for you. After everything WE did for YOU. You betrayed us. You betrayed Joseph, and you betrayed God”

“God doesn’t give a fuck about you, or any of us!!” Paige yells at him. 

“YOU will not speak of him in that tone” John snaps at Paige.

He calms down a bit, and says while holding Kate’s throat. 

“Some of us had some sin to release, and I did my atonement”. 

He looks at Kate while still holding her throat. 

“And she did hers, whether or not I was in my correct mindset or not”

“Mindset? Or demonic possession?” Mandy says.

John ignores her question, and finishes with. 

“Jacob was very upset that you left, and he wanted me to bring you, and your friends and family to his place. You should know by now what that means”.

He tightens his grip around Kate’s arm, and takes towards the back door.

“But!!” he exclaims, turning back around. “I almost forgot the atonement” he says. 

The peggies turn Paige and Mandy around, and bring Kenny, Nate, Mark, Adrian, Cody and Martin in front of them, lining them up.

John goes through a bag on one of the chairs, and pulls out his tattoo needle. 

He stands in front of them with the needle in hand. All 6 men look at him with pure rage, and anger.

“So who wants to go first?” he asks. 

“Fuck off John” Paige yells at him from behind, but he ignores her remark.

“Kenneth, since your mouthy wife decided to try and tear me a new one. YOU should be the first one to go. Yes?” he says, pointing the needle at him.

“Fuck off, I ain’t saying shit” he snaps at him.

“Just like your wife. The Greed, I can see why you two married each other” he says chuckling. 

“Greed is definitely your sin” he adds.

“No, I ain’t giving in to you. Go fuck yourself” Kenny yells again.

John chuckles again “Why do you WINCHESTERS, make everything so difficult!!!!”.

“Because we’re the Winchesters not the Losechesters” Paige laughs flatly.

Kenny glares at her with “now's not the time honey” eyes, along with everyone else. Paige tries to figure out a plan to get John, and his merrymen out of her house.

Two peggies are holding her, one is holding her mom, three behind the guys and none are holding Kate. 

Paige stares at Kate as a way to get her attention, she looks over at Paige, and she automatically knows what she wants her to do.

"John?!!! John?!!?!" Kate mumbles, to get his attention away from the guys.

“Oooh what is it my dear?” he says, walking over to Kate. Now that she has him preoccupied. 

Paige looks over at Kenny, and he is already looking at her.

She points her eyes to the peggies behind them, and to the ones behind her and Mandy.

They have they’re way of communicating with their eyes, and she’s basically telling him. 

There’s 8 of us. and 6 of them, we kill the peggies, and have John as a hostage. 

Mandy sees their way of communicating, and already knew what they were planning.

All at the same time, they take down all 6 peggies.

Mandy elbows hers in the gut, and hits him with an elbow strike, Paige does the same with hers, and flips them over her shoulders while holding Cristina in her wrap. Stomping on their guts. Adrian, Kenny and Cody take out the other 3 in a similar fashion.

Leaving John defenseless.

Paige takes Cristina out of her wrap putting her in her playpen. 

John laughs nervously with his hands up. “This is the last thing you want to do. Killing me is not gonna be a good thing” he says.

“Oh don’t worry John we’re not gonna kill ya. We might have to convert you” Paige says, “And maybe kill you. But who knows maybe we”ll have a change of heart” she adds. 

They tie John to a chair in the kitchen, he looks completely annoyed, and now he knows what it feels like to be tied up, and a hostage. 

Kate walks into the kitchen and sits next to him, and says.

“You knew, you had it coming John”

He looks at her, and mumbles “Are you gonna let them kill me Katie?” 

She responds “If you cooperate, we won’t have to kill you”. 

He groans through his gag. 

Kate tries to have a heart to heart conversation with him.

“You know deep down I still care about you. Your well being. Because I know how much in love you were with me, and I know you’re still in love with me”.

He looks over at her, she can see the rage in his eyes. But there’s also love there as well, and it's overpowering it.

“Don’t even deny it because I know you still love me. Because I understand the pain you went through, I opened up to you about my past and upbringing. I wanted to put that behind me but I couldn’t. Didn't you see how hesitant I was when we first started talking? I never knew a guy like you would fall in love some dumb 19-20 year old college student like me. That was the closest I’ll ever have to having a normal life, but I gotta live this life until I die. I was brought up saving people, killing evil sons of bitches, and I went insane when that demon douchebag got to you. It drove me crazy”.

Tears start to form in Kate’s eyes, John tries to hold back tears, he never realized how much Kate cared about him. 

Paige is standing in the hallway outside the kitchen, and heard everything she said to John.

“I actually saw you in my future, as my husband, as the father to my kids. I’ll admit there are times where I’m jealous of Paige and Kenny’s relationship because that is one of the biggest rules with having a life like mine. No close friendships unless its with actual hunters of the supernatural, and no relationships”

She removes to gag from his mouth, and he says.

“I really meant that much to you?”

She nods her head, and they sit there in the kitchen. Tears in their eyes.

[lake-arrius-caverns]

Prologue - pt 2

content warnings strong language

part 2! a shorter part than usual, mostly dialogue

next coming hopefully Wednesday?

read under the cut or on AO3, cheers 👍

:: First :: || << Previous << || >> Next >> || :: Masterpost ::

— — — — — — — — — —

Ribyna’s brows were furrowed in concentration as she stared at the page in front of her, while Merrick remained silent and patient as per usual. 

“Any idea?” he asked, watching Ribyna curiously. 

Ribyna didn’t respond for a few seconds. Eventually, she spoke in a rather less than confident tone, “Kitty.”

A mild chuckle fell from Merrick’s lips. “It’s ‘city’,” he informed her, prompting a frustrated groan from the Ribyna. 

“Ugh, I give up! This is too fucking complicated,” Ribyna complained, pushing the book aside. Merrick took it and placed it back in his rucksack, sympathetic to Ribyna’s struggle. 

“I know, it can be difficult to get to grips with. But you’re doing really well,” he reassured her. “I mean, you’re only seventeen. I was-...” He paused, biting his lip and having to fight back a grin. “Okay, I was seven when I learned to read, but we have totally different circumstances. I bet it’s even harder to learn when you’re older.” 

“You’re such a smartarse, Merry,” Ribyna huffed. “Maybe I’m better off sticking to what I’m actually good at. Sneaking around and stealing shit!”

“And there’s nothing wrong with that,” Merrick shrugged. “But being able to read is a good skill to have.” 

“Maybe. But I’m stupid,” Ribyna pointed out, completely unabashed. “I’m not clever like you are.”

Merrick snorted. “Oh yeah, cause Vykstrus can read, and he’s just so smart-“ Unfortunately, he was sharply cut off by the approach of a tall, lanky figure, who came striding into the Waterfront camp and swiftly passed the two. The look on his face as he glared at them indicated that he knew exactly what had been said, and Merrick and Ribyna slumped against each other as they dissolved into hysterical sniggers.

“Good timing,” Ribyna muttered, a mischievous grin spreading across her face as she watched Vykstrus approaching Cassius. Merrick tried desperately to restore a straight face, but his attempts were in vain. 

“It’s always the way!” he giggled, before he began to pay attention to Vykstrus. The disgruntled look on his face hadn’t budged, even as he spoke to Cassius; then Merrick noticed that Cassius looked equally as annoyed. He nudged Ribyna and subtly gestured over to the pair deep in discussion, and she stopped laughing to try to eavesdrop as well. What news had Vykstrus brought? 

Fortunately, they didn’t have to wait long to find out.

“Oi, everyone, listen,” Cassius called, getting to his feet. “Vyk’s been doing what Vyk does best, and he’s seen those bastard Sanguine worshippers skulking around again.” 

Cassius paused briefly as there was a minor outpouring of anger and indignation from the listeners. The Sanguine worshippers were vastly unpopular; the general consensus was that they were nothing but a rowdy bunch of revellers, who were out causing trouble just for the sake of it. Drinking and causing a commotion in the streets, they were a far cry from the group who made their homes along the City Waterfront, where life was often a struggle to survive and every effort was put into not drawing attention to themselves. If the Daedric cult were encroaching onto the city, then the guard patrols would be increased tenfold, making the gang’s meticulously organised pillages for food and supplies that much more difficult. 

“We need to send them another warning to stay the fuck away from us, and if they don’t, then...” Cassius’ face was hard and stony as he continued. “Then we’ll just have to teach them the hard way.”

There was a mixed response from the gathered crowd, and Ribyna turned to Merrick grimly. “Does he mean what I think he means?”

“I think so,” Merrick sighed, feeling a mild sense of foreboding beginning to settle uncomfortably in his gut. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. I’m sure Cassius will find a way to sort it.”

“Yeah,” Ribyna agreed. “Those bastard Daedra fuckers... they give the rest of us scumbags a bad fucking name!” 

“I don’t think you need any help to give yourself a bad name,” Merrick teased, and Ribyna shoved his shoulder with a cackle. 

“Oi, watch it you!” 

Merrick chuckled, but once again his attention was drawn by another Dunmer approaching Cassius. As soon as Ribyna realised, she too fell quiet in an effort to overhear what Fahjoth had to say. When they had little success she tapped Merrick’s shoulder, gesturing for him to follow her over. He nodded, and very nonchalantly, the pair got up and wandered slightly closer. Once near enough, they hid behind a corner of one of the small houses dotted along the lakefront and stayed silent to listen in. 

“And what if they don’t agree to leave?” Fahjoth was saying, the concern evident in his voice. It was odd to hear him sounding so serious, as he was usually so carefree and relaxed. It was even stranger to see him looking so displeased with his boyfriend, who could normally do no wrong in Fahjoth’s eyes. 

“They will,” Cassius grumbled. “They have to. I’m not having them hanging around and putting us all in danger. Who knows how much damage they’re capable of-?”

“Exactly, Cassius!” Fahjoth sounded frustrated now. “They’re a Daedric cult, in case you’d forgotten! They could have all sorts of.. I dunno, dark magic fuckery that we’d just be throwing ourselves into! Is it really worth the risk?”

“Don’t be so stupid,” came Cassius’ heated response. “You know what I meant. They’re a bunch of glorified drunks who just like to cause chaos. We show up, flash some blades and they’ll piss off with their tails between their legs, I’d bet you any amount of gold.” He waved a hand dismissively. “Anyway, it probably won’t even come to that.”

“Well, I just hope you’re right,” Fahjoth muttered, before turning and walking off with his hands sullenly in his pockets. Cassius looked for a moment as though he wanted to call after Fahjoth, then huffed and turned to speak to another person instead. 

Ribyna then turned to look at Merrick, chewing her lip with apprehension. “D’you reckon he’s right?” she asked, while Merrick felt equally troubled. Fahjoth’s words of warning had certainly given them a lot to think about, and only solidified Merrick’s own misgivings about the situation.

“I dunno,” he admitted. “To be honest, though... I think Fahjoth’s got a point. Things could get nasty. But... hopefully not.” 

Ribyna was quiet as she watched Shadra, the Redguard woman who Cassius had been speaking to, briskly walk off; she headed in the direction of the Imperial City, presumably to find the cultists and pass on Cassius’ threatening message. 

“Yeah... hopefully.”

[samsbastardzone]

Hey, you know that 35 d&d questions ask meme? I answered all of them.

This is a long ass post. Be warned. It took up seven and a half pages in google docs. Original post here.

1. A favorite character you have played.

Would have to be Zize Fortier, dragonborn gunslinger. Their tag on this blog is #zize and you can find their bio and info on my character page. Love that bastard!! He’s sweet and bratty and a total delight to play (we are such an OP party, y’all).

2. Your favorite character that someone else has played.

UM UM gonna talk about a few here. To be fair to people I play a *lot* of games with, I’m only gonna  talk about one PC per person.

- The bastard trio in my Wildemount game– @toomanyorphans ’s Nakoria, @overplannedbutunnamednpc ‘s Zier (also an NPC in the campaign Zize is in), and @glasyasbutch ‘s Nissy. They all really suck so bad but in SUCH funny ways. They’re varying degrees of self centered and awful, but we trust each other in this campaign, and those 3 players are SO funny in their RP.

- (RIP) Avri in my Wildemount game. They and Bly named each other,,,,  they were parent and child…… VERY sweet. huge goliath with tiny bird in backpack.

- @bekahdoesnershit ‘s Raini. Zize’s BFF, and her tag on that blog is rich. She’s SUCH a bitch but we love her.

- @bhissar ‘s Saela. She is a dream character for me to DM for– very little fleshed out backstory with room to explore, with still-concrete events in it. Consistent character choices and personality, to the point I can sometimes predict what she’ll do. Very cool aesthetically. And overall? EXTREMELY sweet. Baby, baby bird.

3. Your favorite side quest.

Either the one going on right now in amnesia, where we have to collect brain matter from big powerful elementals, or the stop we made at a family of vampires in Acarnya (the one I played Osfyr in).

4. Your current campaign.

There are five of those, with two on hold. 

-Wildemount, aka the Frozen Sick module from Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount (we’re almost done with that, my PC is Bly). 

-Amnesia campaign aka high level campaign: we woke up in hell with no memories! PC is Zize. 

-Hoard of the Dragon Queen module, near the beginning of that, PC is Pointy. 

-Horror campaign, only two sessions so far, but we’re trapped in an alternate dimension carrying out tasks for a creepy dude. PC is Vinny. 

-Kithan, where we’re high level monster hunting guild members searching  out ancient artifacts of the gods (campaign based on the Monster Hunter games), PC is Topaz.

-Silas, party is currently trying to help dragons free themselves and stop a… dude? No spoilers! I DM. On hold because I had too many campaigns going at once.

-Silas v2: extremely vaguely based on the plot of season one of the web series Carmilla. A tweaked version of the first arc the Silas party went through. On hold because it was played in person at school.

5. Favorite NPC.

I don’t really have any NPCs in my campaigns that I’m super attached to, except– Nikeo, a goliath rogue PC in Silas 1, had many adopted children. Three of them– kobolds– sometimes stand on each others’ shoulders, put on a long coat, and help out around their parent’s store. They’ve named themselves Koby.

As for favorite NPCs in campaigns I’ve played, I can think of… a lot. The first is Laurel, a blue dragonborn loner type who followed Osfyr and friends in Acarnya. They were kind of broody and dark, but they really drew me in. They were the first NPC we really talked to– they were sitting on top of the post office laughing at the mob scene of people protesting not getting their mail delivered.

I’d also pick Osfyr’s partners in that campaign– Yelkian, a backstory love interest I came up with, a flamboyant soft sorcerer. Jupiter, politician’s niece, who took pity on Osfyr’s attempts to seduce information out of her and let them succeed on both counts (seduction and information). Xerxes, extra AF rogue with a big loving family, who swept in after a fight on the back of an eagle-wildshaped Brysth (npc druid). 

There’s a blue dragon in the HOTDQ campaign that we don’t know much about. I really enjoyed the way @dungeonsanddraconicqueer played him. He’s just a dude! Lex’s warlock made a Deal with him to leave the town alone. We still don’t know the implications of that. It’s fine, guys.

And then, there’s Stewart the Skin Steward, a servant of False Mystra. Fun dude.  Very cavalier– nigh, enthusiastic!– about the fact that his entire city was made of skin. Something of a skin connoisseur, in fact!

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc).

Saela, hands down. She got breathed on by a dragon, yo. We then had to stop playing for 4-5 months because a player lost access to the Internet. I wrote a vision/speech from her warlock patron, the Raven Queen, the night she died, and basically didn’t touch it until I read it out in game. It involved a confession that the Queen was  tired of being a god, and showing Saela all the lives she’d touched. Then we used Matt Mercer’s rez rules for her. She came back– but it was her choice.

7. Your favorite downtime activity.

Fucking tinkering dude!!! I don’t get to do it enough as Zize and that is entirely my fault. @ morgan, eyes emoji

8. Your favorite fight/encounter.

I LOVE creepy shit. There was a train car with people dancing in it, and party members got enchanted to dance along and eat the food,  and the revelers were clearly in pain, and snuffing out a candle caused a reveler to disappear. Creepy shit!

In Kithan, we had to climb a staircase, and we timed it with produce flame which is a 10 minute duration cantrip, and we were climbing for 50 minutes. We started to see things in the edges of our vision. Then someone realized it was an illusion, and it all vanished. It freaked me out so bad.

In amnesia campaign, at level 19, we were traversing a cave, and our shadows started dripping the same black goop we were there to investigate. We killed one and it took down the max hp of the person whose shadow it was, and then they straight up didn’t have a shadow until they long rested. It really freaked us out, realizing the shadows were actually creatures, but they were like CR 1. Really effective use of a low level monster.

9. Your favorite thing about D&D.

The way it has something for everyone… the way it’s brought me so many friends… the way it’s inspired my OC creation like nothing else.

10. Your favorite enemy and the enemy you hate the most.

I’m not sure if this is asking about NPCs I’ve had as enemies, or any monster in D&D canon? The longest campaign I played in didn’t have long term enemies  per se. I’d say I was frustrated with the cultists that ambushed us last session in HOTDQ,  but I didn’t hate them! I just couldn’t seem to hit or dodge them. As for a favorite… probably False Mystra: the demon lord Orcus who’d taken over  the position, and therefore the duties, of Mystra, the god of arcane magic.  We killed it,  but then whoopso!! Our wizard lost her powers.

11. How often do you play and how often would you ideally like to play?

I play an ideal amount, honestly: four times a week, for about 2.5-3 hours a session. HOTDQ Tuesdays, Kithan and horror campaign switching off Wednesdays, Wildemount Thursdays cause we miss CR, Amnesia Sundays.

12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.

Amnesia: Yocheved, the party barbarian/full time fish, has a secret third arm and/or a prosthetic ass. Cylthia, the druid, does arson (but actually). Relentless is a Crown paladin, so she puts her fingers in her ears when we do crime/lie. She also has a rod of lordly might that, immediately post amnesia, she made into a 32 foot climbing pole. Yocheved eats pounds and pounds of raw fish for every meal.

Wildemount: just the shenanigans and sabotaging each other that the Bastard Trio get into. Example: Nissy was tasked with buying Zier a cloak for cold weather and purposely got him an  ugly one. Zier then prestidigitated it to be a nicer color.

13. Introduce your current party.

Oh boy, I have 6 of those. Here goes. Keep in mind many of these characters are played and games are DMed by my friends who have OC blogs of their own: Raini and Ayen are bekahdoesnerdshit, Ezra, Nissy, and Roona are glasyasbutch, Horror DM, Lent, Eve, and Nakoria are toomanyorphans, Wildemount DM, Saela, Daecyne, and Cylthia are bhissar, HOTDQ DM is dungeonsanddraconicqueer, and Amnesia DM, Zier, Nyxi, and Sarril are overplannedbutunnamednpc. Not an OC blog, but Yocheved, Avri, Arbor, Thraf, Nikeo, and Whisper are mickgoesabsolutelyhamforbarbie.

Amnesia (Zize): Lent, tiefling paladin, former crownsguard who “fell” (became an oathbreaker), then un-fell when we lost our memories. Cylthia, tiefling/elf druid who can shift between tiefling and elf forms and loves setting things on fire. Yocheved, 14 foot tall nereid (fishfolk) barbarian with a dry sense of humor, is the party parent. And Raini, aasimar wizard, sass machine and Zize’s bff.

HOTDQ. My PC is Pointy. Ezra, quiet human paladin. Theata, moon elf rogue. Freya, sweet (human?) light cleric who sometimes misreads situations. Eve, 13 year old (!!) human warlock who kinda sucks, but like, she’s 13. Nyxi, motherly gnome bard who Is going to adopt Pointy. 

Wildemount (Bly): Alene, human barbarian. Quiet and with somewhat of a parent instinct. Some sort of Mysterious Backstory. Delta, aasimar rogue, similarly shady backstory? Unclear. Sticks with Alene. Nissy, drow rune knight, sucks. Zier, drow sorcerer, also sucks. Nakoria, dragonborn warlock, ALSO sucks. (Those three make up the Bastard Trio.) Avri (F for them), goliath bard and Avri’s guardian, died last session by falling on a floor full of knives. 

Horror campaign (Vinny): Roona, halfling bard, very impulsive, eats exclusively with her spoon that says ASS, and chills in Vinny’s fanny pack. Ayen, elven teenage warlock with a dark backstory. Sarril, Ayen’s not-dad, half elf beast barbarian who got it from his wife. Arbor, dryad  monk, who wears an all white plague doctor outfit at all times.

Silas v1 (DM), Original party before 1 left and 1 died: Hacka (RIP), human luchador-styled drunken monk. Nikeo (left), goliath rogue with so many adopted children. Inferno, fire genasi paladin/phoenix sorcerer with anger and impulse control issues. Saela, babiest aarakocra warlock of the Raven Queen. Hacka’s player now plays Voda, a stoic water genasi tempest cleric who cast Raise Dead successfully on Saela. Nikeo’s player now plays Whisper, a tabaxi astral soul monk.

Kithan (Topaz): Thraf, monsterborn (universe-compliant dragonborn) barbarian. Very social, very outgoing, very stupid, and very traumatized. Fucks majorly. Daecyne, sweet tiefling druid and Topaz’s good friend. Viosa, aasimar homebrew class I forget the name of, uses her small stature and allure to her advantage. Damur, half-orc eldritch knight, the party’s only braincell.

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed.

Acarnya. My PC was Osfyr. Soraphine, traumatized halfling bard. Azalea, human fighter. Durzuell, haughty high elf sorcerer. James, nerdy half elf wizard. Drago, erratic Russian dragonborn monk. Kairon, slightly edgy ranger/paladin (but we love him). 

Nordenheim. My PC was Cap. I will admit: we only played 2 or 3 sessions, so I don’t really remember  most of the other party members except Rory, a fire genasi ranger who almost burned to death.

Silas v2 (hopefully will continue; I DMed): Kysseris IV. Half-elf paladin, uptight. Tower 1-6, warforged wizard who crawled out of the desert and is looking for info on how he was made. Mae “Pock”, gnome rogue, very small and  sweet. Josh, human trickery cleric, kind of an asshole, but in a way that’s funny and hasn’t bled over into IRL annoying.

[school] West Marches campaign (Ner): by the nature of West Marches, there was never a consistent party, but a few stood out to me. Red Foot, a hyperactive kobold sorcerer who’s level 8 against all West Marches odds. Lyra, Great Old One warlock of Tzee’Mhor, an abomination goat that a party I was in accidentally created. Fildo Baggins, divination wizard who can only affect allies whose toenail clippings he has in his vial.

15. Do you have snacks during game times?

Hell yeah babey!!! I mostly play digitally, especially during COVID, and I need something to munch after DMing for a while. Shit’s exhausting.

16. Do you play online or in person? Which do you prefer?

Welp! Online mostly, since everyone I want to play with has the audacity to live far away, and now exclusively online because of COVID.

17. What are some house rules that your group has?

Our Amnesia party is so rich that we just don’t keep track of money. In Kithan, a lot of rules that make characters less powerful are just… abolished (like the bonus action spell rule). (The DM likes super OP characters so she can throw SUPER OP monsters at us.  My character has a necklace that gives 5 additional uses of channel divinity.)

18. Does your party keep any pets?

Nope. No opportunities for them. Zize’s party has a little water snake on the druid’s arm but I doubt that will last very long.

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions?

Absolutely. Cursed dice get j a i l.

20. How did you get into D&D? How long have you been playing?

Acarnya got me into d&d, it was my first campaign, and it was happening at the place I lived. I’ve been playing almost 2 years. (Critical Role inspired me to DM)

21. Have you ever regretted something your character has done?

Not sent a fucking letter to say goodbye to their boyfriend before the world-fate-deciding bullshit that was gonna happen and possibly destroy shit. It was fine in the end though!

22. What color was your first dragon?

Red. Man, that guy sucked, he almost killed Osfyr. We were investigating a monastery secretly run by dragons disguised as humans.

23. Do you use premade modules or original campaigns?

Original campaigns. I’ve never run a module before! I’m not opposed, but most of my campaigns came from ideas  that I had. I’ve never been short on ideas for a game.

24. How much planning/preparation do you do for a game?

As a player, I just open my character sheet and get out dice. As a DM, I try and think about what material I want to get through this session, and write some narration and/or stat things out if I feel like it.

For DMs

25. What have your players done that you never could have planned for?

A lot of times, Inferno has rushed into battle from what I’d built as a stealth mission, and gotten her ass and sometimes the party’s asses kicked. I should really have learned by now.

26. What was your favorite scene to write and show your characters?

Definitely Saela’s resurrection ritual and vision.

27. Do you allow homebrew content?

Yes! I’ll check it first,  but I’m all for expanding the boundaries. I homebrew items and monsters all the time, why shouldn’t my payers get to homebrew their shit?

28. How often do you use NPCs in a party?

Too often in my first arc. I had like 7 NPCs running around at all times (they were Carmilla characters). Super not recommended. I have 0 right now.

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions?

I’m still finding my groove with RP as a DM. I like encouraging my players to RP amongst themselves. I consider myself fairly good at combat on both sides of the equation, DM and player, so that’s always fun to me, especially when my players enjoy it too.

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?

I have one actively reforming murder hobo player, the rest are diplomatic. (The character, Inferno, is having a great growth arc. I’m super proud.)

For Players

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?

I fucking love genasi as a concept. Favorite class would have to be rogue or cleric, but gunslinger’s up there too.

32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?)

I  honestly don't have the patience to not play DPS. I love doing lots of damage. Healing is satisfying, support is satisfying, but there’s a reason I picked rogue twice and tempest cleric over other domains.

33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory?

Sometimes the backstory is part of the character concept– especially for Pointy, because I had the name first, then went hmm why would she have this name. Almost always, though, more backstory gets written during the campaign when I have an idea. Sometimes a character will act in a way I don’t expect, and it’s fun thinking of a justification to fill backstory gaps.

34. Do you tend to pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?

Mostly  usefulness honestly. I’ll make choices among several for flavor, but I’m a big proponent of using mechanics to build character. What I mean is, think about Magnus in TAZ Balance– his protection fighting style contributed a lot to the way Travis played him as a protective person. I love that shit.

35. How much roleplay do you like to do?

I like to do a lot, but unfortunately my  energy is pretty down lately so I haven’t been doing as much.

[flowerpowell]

The Boy Next Door (Colt x MC ? / Logan x MC ?)

PART FIFTEEN

A/N: This is the last chapter! And the epilogue is being worked on too! I really hope you’ll like it and thank you SO much for reading and reblogging, commenting, liking and supporting this series. I meant A LOT to me. Characters belong to Pixelberry. 

Rating: PG-16

Word count: 1911

Tagging: @brightpinkpeppercorn @desiree-0816 @lovehugsandcandy @walkerduchess @liamzigmichael4ever @emceesynonymroll @emichelle @hellomynameisdevi @client-327 @badchoicesposts @blackcatkita @pixel-thirsty @drakeismyweakness @donutsgirl36 @miss-raleigh-carrera @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @lovemychoices @mskaneko @missameliep @cora-nova ♥

“Ugh, the jet lag is killing me,” Ellie murmured, inhaling the scent of her coffee in hopes it would wake her up.

“You know, you can’t really blame jet lag if you’ve been here for over a month,” Logan noticed and Ellie looked at him narrowing her eyes.

“I can blame whatever I want,” she stuck out her tongue at him. “Why are you so happy, though? Where do you get your energy?”

“I dunno. I just love it here. My classes are amazing, the people I met are cool, my job is going great. You’re here too. I can’t complain, really.” He took a sip of his tea and Ellie rolled her eyes.

“I miss my bed. I’m tired of having a panic attack anytime I see someone driving on the wrong side of the road. And it is freezing here.”

Ellie wrapped her fingers around the mug and closed her eyes listening to the noises of a campus cafe. The past month was very... interesting, to say the least. Nothing bad happened but Ellie had the hardest time adusting to a new country, new university and a new lifestyle. Copared to Logan who seemed to love being there, Ellie counted down the days till she could go back. She missed her dad, she missed her professors, she missed Riya, she missed Annya. And no matter how hard she tried to hide it, she missed Colt the most.

They talked every day, sometimes even twice a day. He called at times that were the most convenient for Ellie and at some point she found out he would stay up late just to talk to her. They talked about Ellie’s classes, about Colt reuniting with his mother, about Logan who was living his best life. The only thing they didn’t discuss was them. It almost felt like a taboo subject but she knew from her conversations with Annya that he missed her too.

They also never talked about what would happen after her London adventure. She wasn’t sure where she would go, back to California to her father? Find a new appartment in Colt’s neighborhood? It was driving her insane but she tried to not to think too much about it.

Ellie tried not to doze off when Logan was telling her something that happened during one of his classes. She smiled involuntarily. He was always very excited when talking about his classes and Ellie was really happy for him. Everything was good between the two of them and she was glad to have a friend like him in her corner. They even went to a weekend trip to Paris because Logan refused to spend the money he earned for it on anything else.

“Logan, seriosuly, I can’t... You don’t have to spend the money on me anymore. We’re not a couple or anything.”

“But we’re friends. And I want to take you there as an apology for lying to you. Come on, I know you want to go there. Please?”

“Ughh, okay. You don’t have to but if you must, I’ll go. After all I lied to you, too.”

Logan raised his eyebrow trying not to laugh. “Oh poor you. Going to Paris with me is such an awful punishment for almost cheating on me with Colt. How will you bear so much suffering?”

The trip was very successful and Ellie sent tons of pictures to Colt, Annya and her Dad. Colt was a little jealous at first, even though he tried to hide it, but Ellie explained it to him that her and Logan would never be able to be more than friends. And she was okay with that.

“Ellie?” Logan’s voice brought her back to reality. “Maybe you should skip classes today? You look really tired. I could drive you back to your dorm,” he offered concerned.

“Yeah... I think I need a break today. Thank you.”

As soon as she entered her room, she jumped on her bed and fell asleep. Her phone woke her up a few hours later.

“Mmm, hello?” She rubbed her eyes trying to get out of bed and turn on the light.

“Ellie? You sound... different. Is everything okay?” Colt’s voice was full of concern, which made her heart skip a beat. He cares.

“I just woke up from a nap. Was tired all day,” she murmured sleepily and Colt let out a chuckle.

“I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“No, it’s fine. What’s up?”

“I met my grandparents today. My mom’s parents. By the way, she says hi.”

Ellie smiled at the words and closed her eyes, climbing back to bed. She might as well make herself comfortable. “And? What they’re like?”

“A couple of assholes. No wonder my mom doesn’t like them. They suck.”

“Colt!”

“No seriously! They were complaning all the time about everything. Why I never reached out to them sooner, and it’s not like I just found out they existed. Why I look so much like my father, why I don’t look like my grandfather, who apparently was very handsome when he was younger. Well, I couldn’t tell because he looked like a fucking raisin. And then my grandma told me to stop wearing my leather jacket because I look like a cultist. And she got offended when I said I was in an anti-grandparents cult. Then she proceeded to criticize my mother. I’m tellin’ you. Assholes.” She couldn’t see Colt but she could tell he was rolling his eyes in this very ‘Colt’ manner. She chuckled.

“Well then, I’m glad I didn’t have to meet them,” she said stifling a yawn.

“Ellie? You’re tired. Go to sleep a little earlier and I’ll call you before your classes tomorrow, okay?”

“Mhm, okay! Love you!” she blurted and her eyes widened as she realized what she just said.

No... No... Please, no.

“Ahem, okay then, I... I’ll call you umm...tomorrow. Night!”

Ellie hang up and facepalm herself hard.

Did I just say I loved Colt? Yes.

Did he hear it? Probably yes.

Did he say it back? No.

Does he feel the same? Probably not.

Did I scare him? Most likely.

Am I an idiot? Totally.

She buried her face in her hands. She didn’t mean to say it, at least not like that. They were still figuring things out and now she ruined everything.

“UGH!!!” She groaned. Colt didn’t say anything back. He was probably surprised too.

Maybe he didn’t hear it...

Maybe I can pretend I never said that. Maybe it was nothing.

~~~~

Colt didn’t call before her classes.

Ellie waited for him to call but she gave up when it was already time to leave.

He heard.

And he is avoiding me.

Great.

She didn’t pay attention to her classes that day at all. She didn’t even notice Logan driving her back home. She was done with London and she wanted to go back home. Wherever it was.

She came back to her dorm, turned on TV and mindlessly watched different shows for a few hours. It was almost uncanny how much the lack of conversation with Colt affected her. Her days were much better when she could hear his voice at least for a few minutes.  

I need to go on a rehab.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. It was already late in the evening and she didn’t expect anyone. She wanted to ignore at first but the knocking didn’t stop for a few minutes.

“I’m coming!” She groaned and crawled out of bed. She opened the door and her heart stopped. It was either a dream or she was hallucinating.

“Hi,” Colt said nervously as she started at him. He walked inside and closed the door while Ellie was still in shock.

“C-Colt? What are you doing here?”

“I-- I don’t know.” He ran one hand through his hair and looked at her. “I-- I thought it was all over and I prayed for a sign and when you blurted out those three words, well, two, I thought...”

“You heard it.” It was more of a statement than a question and Colt nodded.

“I... did. And I... I figured it was true and I wanted to take a leap of faith and come here. It gave me hope that maybe there’s still a chance.”

“Chance? Chance for what?” She asked and Colt’s expression softened.

“I don’t know much about feelings, emotions and crap like this. I don’t know how to be with someone, I don’t know what it’s like to have a normal, healthy relationship but I would like to try it if... if you want it too.”

“Colt? Are you...?”

“I,” he swallowed hard and closed his eyes before opening them again and locking them with Ellie’s confused eyes. “I think I love you, Ellie. No, wait, I ruined it, I know I love you. No wait, it still sounds bad, I--”

“You... you do?” Ellie’s eyes welled up with tears as Colt nodded. “Oh my gosh, I thought you didn’t feel anything for me anymore.”

“What? How could-- No, Ellie, I was worried you hated me after I told you to get out. I thought I messed up for good. And when I heard you saying these words I thought... I thought that maybe there’s still a chance?”

“So you came to London?” Ellie couldn’t believe it. Maybe it was indeed a dream.

“Well, yeah. I missed you. Home is not home without you. Ellie,” he took her hands in his as he looked into her eyes. “I know I screwed up. I know I’m not perfect, hell, I’m the opposite. I know I suck at showing I like someone and I have many, many, maaaany issues. But I promise, if you’ll take me, to work on them, on myself, on everything for you. I know I don’t deserve you after all you’ve done for me and after all I’ve done to you but if you’re willing to forgive me I would like to ask you for a second chance. I want to be whatever you want me to be, your boyfriend, your best friend, your shelter from any storm in your life, your roomate, anything, Ellie, just say I word and I’m yours.”

Ellie sniffed as tears were rolling down her cheeks.

He loves me. He loves me!

And I love him too.

“Ellie? Please say something or I’ll die.”

Ellie let out a laugh as she threw her arms around his neck pulling him closer. She kissed him and he kissed her back and she never felt happier in her life. Their kisses were slow but passionate, full of love and hope. Full of promises and new beginnings. He deepened the kiss, pulling her even closer and she put her hands in his hair.

“I love you too, Colt. So much,” she said breathlessly between the kisses. She’d never seen Colt being so happy. He lifted her effortlessly and spun her around, peppering her face with gentle kisses. They stayed like that, kissing in the middle of Ellie’s dorm room, for a few minutes before pulling away. Colt rested his forehead against hers as both of them tried to catch their breaths.

“Ellie?” Colt asked, his breathing still heavy.

“Mhmm?”

“Let’s go home.”

[diplotomodon]

Doctor Who Spoilers: so about THAT ending...

A lot of people right now are probably saying things like “What the fuck,” “Holy shit,” “hey wait a minute didn’t that like just happen?”, “unintelligible screaming”, or variations thereof. Many of them will be surprised to know that there’s even MORE to unpack here than they might thing.

But to do this we need to take a deep dive into the Doctor Who extended (who)niverse...

(spoilers within, obviously)

“But hang on, is the extended universe canon?”

There is no canon. Doctor Who canon does not exist. Everything is canon, and nothing is canon. Let the Lucasfilm Story Group weep before us.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about two lines of novels: the Virgin New Adventures and the Eighth Doctor Adventures.

The Virgin New Adventures (VNAs for short) were published in the 90s after Doctor Who originally went off the air, continuing the adventures of the Seventh (and current) Doctor Sylvester McCoy. Strange things were happening in McCoy’s final seasons: cryptic lines of dialogue, whisperings of ancient secrets from Gallifrey’s past, and the implication that the Doctor himself was “far more than just another Time Lord” and perhaps present during Gallifrey’s formative years. Of course, the show was cancelled before we learned much about any of this stuff.

This was an intended effort by then-script editor Andrew Cartmel to reintroduce more mystery to the Doctor’s character, which has since been referred to as the “Cartmel Masterplan” by a few fans (even though it wasn’t really much of a fleshed-out “plan” at the time to speak of). And even though the TV show went off the air, these mysteries finally culminated in the VNA novel Lungbarrow by Marc Platt that you’re probably about to hear a lot of people talk about. Among the many revelations of the VNAs:

Gallifrey was originally ruled by the Pythia, a mystic sisterhood of sorcerers and psychics that could see into the future. When Rassilon overthrew them and became the first president of the Time Lords, the last Pythia threw herself off a cliff and cursed the Time Lords with sterility. (The remains of the sisterhood settled on Karn, which you might remember from a few recent episodes...)

Because of the Pythia’s curse, Time Lords aren’t born, per se, but rather bred from genetic engines called looms. So the concept of a Time Lord “family” is a bit scuffed, technically they’re just collections of Cousins instead.

There were three founders of Time Lord society: Rassilon (you know him, big angry space fascist), Omega (stellar engineer and occasional Classic Who villain), and a mysterious, likely benevolent Other. As Rassilon became more and more of a raging asshole, the Other attempted to escape Gallifrey by throwing themselves into a loom, dispersing their essence. Their genetic material would eventually reconstitute itself thousands of years later in the form of a newly loomed Time Lord - the Doctor.

Time Lord history has always been shrouded in mystery, and at times deliberately obfuscated - which also helps when the TV series and the extended universe contradict each other. Might it be possible that the television series is starting to explore these topics?

Oh, and also, there’s one more VNA called Christmas on a Rational Planet, where we learn that time doesn’t actually exist.

hwat the f u c k

Yeah that’s right.

This is also explored in the Eighth Doctor Adventures, an officially-sanctioned-by-BBC-Books line of novels following the one and only Paul McGann as the Eight Doctor, and it’s even brought up in a few of the audiobooks by Big Finish.

To make a long story short, and to make a summary of all of those shorter:

Before the Time Lords rose to power, time as we know it did not exist. Linearity and causality and order were not invented yet. There was no such thing as a past or future tense. All the things were happening at once.

Only when Omega captured and created the Eye of Harmony, an exploding star on the verge of becoming a black hole used as the source of all the Time Lords’ power, did time begin to exist. And the Time Lords - Rassilon in particular - used this “anchoring of the thread” to shape reality to their own whims, introducing the concept of “time” in the first place.

Inventing time may have accidentally busted a hole into the fabric of existence and let out a bunch of giant ravenous space vampires but yknow. Not a big deal

More of a big deal is the War in Heaven, a massive conflict between the Time Lords an an unseen Enemy that ends with...the Doctor destroying Gallifrey and becoming stranded on Earth?? This sounds familiar??

Or at least it’s a Gallifrey, because there are at least nine cloneworlds

WHAT

This last bullet point is just an excuse to mention Faction Paradox, a group of rogue cultists? Anarchists? Kinky freaks? Who knows. They just act as a foil to the Time Lord vision of reality, continually reveling in the impossible in direct defiance of the laws of the universe, probably for the fun of it. Also they wear fun skull masks. Big Faction Paradox community on tumblr. You either know them already, or you’ll always have been a part of them within the week. Keep a lookout for them

The point is that time itself is an artificial construct invented and applied by the Time Lords, and had they decided not to go meddling the universe as we know it would be very, very different, and in fact timeless. Once again, Time Lord history is often hidden and deliberately obtuse. Imagine what would happen if the lesser races of the universe caught on that their entire existence was based upon an ideology forcibly imposed upon them?

“Okay but is there any evidence of a former, nonlinear, anti-causal universe that’s been brought up in the show before?”

THAT

FUCKING

FROG

Picture this: the Solitract from last season was never just a throwaway entity-of-the-week. An incompatible universe opposed to ours, banished to a faraway realm? Now doesn’t that sound suddenly familiar...

If yall want me to drop some more Deep Lore later, I’d be more than happy to oblige. Series 12 just got a helluva lot more interesting.